Special Days in April

maxine · Post by **maxine** » Tue Apr 22, 2014 9:37 pm

My dear dad passed away 12 years ago last Saturday ....asbestos related ...he never went to doctors in his life so when mum said he had gone i knew there was something wrong....he was taken ill first visiting not Normandy graves with my brother ....ten months later he was diagnosed with mesathlioma ..on my youngest sons birthday and died 17 days later ....my dear mum was in hospital too ...on the same floor ...she passed away 9 weeks later from heartbreak ...i remember walking down the corridor to tell her the news ...my husband had to look after my youngest as he was ill and tiny at the time ....my brother had gone home ...the nurses was very helpful ...i said goodbye to him just as he slipped away ....having to tell Mum was a nightmare as she went into meltdown...80 yrs old and devoted to Dad ( my estranged sister had died 18 months before and I think this was the beginning of the end for her ...) ... ... My Dad would have said ...forget the 19 th April it's only a man made thing ....bless him ...

mariana44 · Post by **mariana44** » Tue Apr 22, 2014 10:30 pm

Oh Maxine, what a terrible time that must have been for you. I know the pain never leaves, but concentrate on the good times.

maxine · Post by **maxine** » Tue Apr 22, 2014 11:01 pm

mariana44 wrote:Oh Maxine, what a terrible time that must have been for you. I know the pain never leaves, but concentrate on the good times.

Thank you Marian ...xxx

ROBERT M. · Post by **ROBERT M.** » Wed Apr 23, 2014 2:52 am

Some very sad stories on here

karl · Post by **karl** » Wed Apr 23, 2014 8:48 am

The shock of losing my dad so suddenly made my hair turn grey almost overnight, I thought I was imagining it until people mentioned it.

I think I went into auto-pilot, I remember going through our address book and calling everyone who knew my dad - even his best-man who lived in Oslo. Awhile later when he came over for a visit and mentioned my call and I did not remember calling him. Shock can do strange things.

I also remember my mum and sister sitting shaking in shock. People are great in a crisis though everyone rallied round and for a week the house was full of people - and flowers I never saw so many outside a florists shop. My sister and her family ordered a beautiful arrangement made up to look like the Norwegian flag.

What really upset me was the last few months of his life he was never better - so full of life and on his last birthday (a month before he died) I sat looking at him and he asked why I was looking and I said "Dad I'm Wondering When You Are Going To Start Looking Like An Old Man"!.

Days before he died I had friends of mine round for Easter Sunday lunch and we had a lovely day and ended up playing dominoes, three days later I called them and they could not believe the news.

mariana44 · Post by **mariana44** » Wed Apr 23, 2014 11:25 am

that was obviously reallky a tough time for you Karl. Never easy to lose a parent--or anyone for that matter.

maxine · Post by **maxine** » Wed Apr 23, 2014 11:36 am

ROBERT M. wrote:Some very sad stories on here

...its lovely t be able to talk about them to be honest....i always tell people especially when I worked with younger people ....to always make up with their parents if they
Y have a ding dong ...( as we all do) tell them you love them if you are lucky enough to have fab parents as i surely was ....when my sis in laws mum suddenly passed i ran to Mum and Dad and told them how much i loved them ...I hadn't don't this for a while and I was desperate to let them know ...I am very fortunate to have told them....and losing my sister without knowing she was even ill was well beyond it ...she asked her husband not to tell us ...I think she just could not deal with it all and I won't ever hold that against her ...in fact i think it prolonged my mums life not knowing ...we went to funeral and it was ...awful (which funerals aren't of course)

....as the years go by happier memories creep in and laughter of things said ...situations we got into ...my dad had a great sense of humour ..

....as did mum

..my sister always had me in stitches in happier times ...(uncle Leon's wife( uncle I lost in February) broke news to me about my sister and we lost her too just before Mum and Dad....they all gave us happy memories ...Pete used to tease mum ...she used to say "what can i do with my hair?" And Pete used to say.... .."Give it a saucer of milk". She used to laugh ...and even when she was ill Pete managed to get a laugh and a smile from her ... ...

So always tell your parents and loved ones of course . .. parents as they will know you better than
anybody and they held you as a baby ;0) .........that you Love them....even if you have to have a small alcoholic drink before hand ...I know not everybody is able to say those words ...and my parents were brought up in a generation when this didn't always happen ....and if you find a situation where you cannot make amends .....don't blame yourself .....its life ....but if you can do it ....say it ....give them a big big hug....if I can pass a little word of wisdom then I'm glad to help .....i bumped into a lady years ago and we got chatting ...as I always do ...she said ..."your mum and your husband ...your best friends ". ( I was lucky to have my Dad too)

maxine · Post by **maxine** » Wed Apr 23, 2014 11:37 am

So sorry about my spelling mistakes .....

Funeral are awful i meant to say not aren't .....sorry

maxine · Post by **maxine** » Wed Apr 23, 2014 11:39 am

karl wrote:The shock of losing my dad so suddenly made my hair turn grey almost overnight, I thought I was imagining it until people mentioned it.

I think I went into auto-pilot, I remember going through our address book and calling everyone who knew my dad - even his best-man who lived in Oslo. Awhile later when he came over for a visit and mentioned my call and I did not remember calling him. Shock can do strange things.

I also remember my mum and sister sitting shaking in shock. People are great in a crisis though everyone rallied round and for a week the house was full of people - and flowers I never saw so many outside a florists shop. My sister and her family ordered a beautiful arrangement made up to look like the Norwegian flag.

What really upset me was the last few months of his life he was never better - so full of life and on his last birthday (a month before he died) I sat looking at him and he asked why I was looking and I said "Dad I'm Wondering When You Are Going To Start Looking Like An Old Man"!.

Days before he died I had friends of mine round for Easter Sunday lunch and we had a lovely day and ended up playing dominoes, three days later I called them and they could not believe the news.

karl · Post by **karl** » Wed Apr 23, 2014 1:11 pm

Maxine I like to keep their memories alive too, I have photos of them around the house and I talk about them to the family etc:

Just because they are gone it doesn't mean we stop talking about them, they were part of our lives and we can't forget that.

maxine · Post by **maxine** » Wed Apr 23, 2014 1:55 pm

Quite right Karl .....Hubby made a lovely photo book for my fiftieth ...Mum and Dad sis aunty Kath Uncle Leon........it was sooooo lovely seeing all the happy times

Sandra · Post by **Sandra** » Mon Apr 28, 2014 5:53 pm

Thankyou so much everyone for the birthday wishes.Spent my combined holiday and birthday in wet and windy Weymouth just returning home today.
That's three wet April holidays now.We thought maybe third time lucky but no.So no more April holidays for us

So sorry for your very sad stories Maxine and Karl xx

Marian · Post by **Marian** » Thu May 01, 2014 3:25 pm

HAPPY BIRTHDAY to our fellow forum member Mark Porter today. Hope you have a great day Mark!

Lena & Harry Smith · Post by **Lena & Harry Smith** » Thu May 01, 2014 9:43 pm

Happy Birthday Mark, Hope you have a specially nice day.

karl · Post by **karl** » Thu May 01, 2014 11:18 pm

Happy Birthday Mark

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