Today's Joke

[maureen & harry]

We have just read Marians Riddle and Robert's joke about the teddy bears and they certainly gave us a laugh.

We only scored 2 on the Riddles.

[Marian]

You did better than I did Maureen and Harry!

[ROBERT M.]

Marian, we do have a famous author on here called Michele .............and not forgetting our Keith who has had poems published..........I think

[Lena & Harry Smith]

We do indeed Robert. Both worthy of a Nobel Laureate award

[Marian]

And not forgetting Baz.

[mariana44]

Yes, I know--but I wanted a few more girlie books !!!!!

[Marian]

You'll have to write one then Marian!

[mariana44]

I just read them !

[keithgood838]

LITTLE LAUGHTER LINES

The country's worst pub is called The Fiddle.
Because it is a vile inn.

Many medieval archers originated in London settlements
such as Bow and Harrow.

Ouch!

[ROBERT M.]

It's only fair

1

He said to me.............I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to put in it

I said to him .............You wear pants don't you?

2

He said to me............Shall we try swapping positions tonight?

I said to him.............That's a good idea - you stand by the stove & sink while I sit on the sofa and do nothing but fart

3

He said to me............What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you?

I said to him.............Turn sideways and look in the mirror!

4

He said to me............Why don't women blink during foreplay?

I said to him.............They don't have time.

5

He said to me............How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?

I said to him.............I don't know; it has never happened.

6

He said to me............Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and Good- looking?

I said to him.............They already have boyfriends.

7

He said to me.............What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?

I said to him.............A widow.

8

He said to me.............Why are married women heavier than single women?

I said to him.............Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed….Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge.



THIS IS FOR SMART WOMEN WHO NEED A LAUGH AND TO THE GUYS YOU THINK CAN HANDLE IT!

[mariana44]

And it is all so true !!!!!!

[cmartin_ok]

And it is all so true !!!!!!

If only........
I live with my 2 teenage daughters - actually that's wrong now, elder one is 20; neither of them seems able or willing to change a roll of toilet paper or do any washing-up (or even make sure that their durty stuff is by the sink). The number of times I find dirty plates, cups etc in the lounge or their bedrooms (even though they are repeatedly told not to take food upstairs.....)

[mariana44]

Ah well--teenagers are in a class of their own !!

They will grow out of it--in time .

[keithgood838]

Yes, super sexist stuff Robert.

CAT CHAT

How do you know when your cat has eaten a duckling?
She's got that down-in-the-mouth look.

A motorist runs over a cat. The animal's address
is on its collar so the man conscientiously goes
to apologise to the owner. A little old lady answers
his knock on the door.
'I'm sorry,' the motorist begins shamefacedly,
'but I've just run over your cat, can I replace it?'
'I don't know,' replies the old lady.
'How are you at catching mice?'

What's the difference between a cat and a comma?
One has the paws before the claws,
and the other has the clause before the pause.

[Gray]