Today's Joke

[Don Cooper]

Smarting from Twickenham,Keith?
(I'd be more than smarting after yesterday's bruiser)

(( I know.Who left my kennel door open this morning?))

[keithgood838]

Not smarting Don; we just like to make the Six Nations rugby
interesting. Also we have our national sport to fall back on:

EXCLUSIVE EXPLOITS

Trust the Irish to excel at a game
denied the oxygen of worldwide fame;
the fastest field sport is a Cinderalla
not sheltered by the Olympics umbrella.
A ball game of flying sticks and skill
that is content to stay parochial.

BEATING BARRIERS

Why doesn't Mexico have an Olympics team?
All the Mexicans who can run, jump or swim
are already in the USA.
Lo siento, amigos.

[Eman]

LOL Keith!!!

[keithgood838]

SMILING THROUGH

Three corpses arrive at the mortuary, each intriguingly wearing
a big smile. The coroner phones the police to apprise them of
the background to the cases:
First body: 'Pierre Dubois, Frenchman, 60, died of heart failure
while making love to his young mistress, hence the enormous smile.'
Second body: 'Hamish Campbell, Scot, 25, spent his entire £50.000
lottery winnings on whisky. Died of alcohol poisoning, hence the
happy smile.'
'What about the third body?' enquires the inspector.
'Ah,' asserts the coroner, 'a most unusual case. Paddy Murphy,
Irish, 30, hit by lightning.'
'So why was he smiling?' asks the inspector.
'Thought he was having his photograph taken.'

[ROBERT M.]

Good un' Keith..............it's the way you tell em'

[maxine]

[Eman]

ha ha..keith, just saw this now.. PMSL

[Lena & Harry Smith]

Ha Ha

[keithgood838]

HOW I TELL 'EM?

I appreciate your comments
and I am happy to heed 'em,
but I also have the sense
to know it is how kind folk read 'em.

[ROBERT M.]

[Eman]

PMSL - Keith!!

[keithgood838]

CURRENT CONDITIONS

The weather here is welcomed by
Spring's variegated flowers
and it could save the broadcasters
numerous on-air hours;
all they should say is: 'The forecast today
is for sunny spells and scattered showers ...'

[maxine]

CURRENT CONDITIONS

The weather here is welcomed by
Spring's variegated flowers
and it could save the broadcasters
numerous on-air hours;
all they should say is: 'The forecast today
is for sunny spells and scattered showers ...'

[keithgood838]

RHETORICAL RECYCLING

An Englishman, on a business trip to Paris, is having breakfast (coffee, croissants,
bread, butter and jam) when a pushy, gum-chewing Frenchman plonks himself
down beside him. The Englishman ignores the intruder who, nevertheless,
starts up a conversation: 'You English folk eat the whole bread?'
Englishman morosely: 'Of course.' The Frenchman, after blowing a huge bubble:
'We don't; we only eat what's inside. The crusts we collect in a container,
recycle, transform into croissants and sell them to England,' he declares smugly.
The Englishman listens in stony silence.
His uninvited guest persists: 'Do you eat jam?'
'Of course.'
The Frenchman (cracking bubble-gum between his teeth and chuckling):
'We don't. In France we eat fresh fruit for breakfast, then we put all the peels,
seeds and leftovers in containers, recycle them, turn them into jam and sell
them to England.'
After a moment of further silence, the Englishman counters:
'Do you have sex in France?'
'Of course; we are noted for our sexuality.'
'And what do you do with the used condoms?'
'We throw them away of course.'
The Englishman fixes him with an unwavering stare and asserts:
'We don't; in England we put them in a container, recycle them
into bubble-gum and sell them to France.'

[karl]

PMSL - Keith!!

Eamon what does PMSL mean? I hope it isn't what I think it is???