POEMS - With Tongue In Cheek

[keithgood838]

DEFINITION

Redact: verb transitive, to edit, to shape, to frame,
hence past tense, redacted.
Alternative meaning: a risible cover-up
by politicians (who have no shame)
of trust betrayals. Scandalised electorates shafted.

Keith

[keithgood838]

I love this little piece by the numero uno of nonsense verse,
a poem with tongue in cheek and fish in mouth:

THE LITTLE CROCODILE

How does the little crocodile
Improve his shining tail,
And pour the waters of the Nile
On every golden scale?

How cheerfully he seems to grin,
How neatly spreads his claws,
And welcomes little fishes in
With gently smiling claws!

Edward Lear (1832 - 1898)

[keithgood838]

WIMBLEDON UMBRAGE

A new Centre Court roof
to make it rain-proof
and keep interruptions at bay;
so what does rain do?
It snarls, 'To hell with you.'
As it stays resolutely away.

Keith

[keithgood838]

INSIGHT

The studious twitcher's reaction
to the lesser-spotted redaction
is to note the ringed phrase 'tried a con'
bears the plumage of apt anagram;
camouflage for the nest-raiding scam
of sly tricksters trying it on.

Keith

PS Another anagram of redaction
is, I don't care.

[mariana44]

On a more serious note, for George's funeral service, apart from the 2 well known Christina Rosetti poems, I wanted something totally different--and I actually found this on the Internet--written by Mr A. Nonymous .,but if George could have written it, this is exactly what he would say--

AFTER GLOW.

I'd like the memory of me to be a happy one.
I'd like to leave an after glow of smiles, when life is done.
I'd like to leave an echo whispering softly down the ways
Of happy times and laughing times,and bright and sunny days.
I'd like the tears of those who grieve,to dry before the sun
Of happy memories ,that I leave behind when life is done.

[keithgood838]

Thanks for your exquisitely apposite posts Marian(a) and Catherine,
poignantly in the shadow of Michael Jackson's premature exit from
this world's stage.

They shall have stars at elbow and foot;
Though they go mad they shall be sane,
Though they sink through the sea they shall rise again;
Though lovers be lost love shall not;
And death shall have no dominion.

Dylan Thomas

[keithgood838]

BACKHANDED COMPLIMENT

The two-handed topspin backhand which,
to the angsty receiver,
sounds like the crack of doom;
the one-handed brush-stroke slice,
the backspin deceiver
kept low, leaving no manoeuvring room.
That such innovative skill can create,
from the less potent wing,
a dynamic weapon there is little doubt,
but will the ploy plus suffice to frustrate
the Centre Court's un-recrowned king?
Fascination pervades finding out ...

Keith

PS My apologies, I somehow contrived
to omit the fifth line from the bottom
of my original post.

[Marian]

SING A SONG OF PARLIAMENT,
POCKETS FULL OF CASH,
FRAUDULENTLY CLAIMING
AND ADDING TO THEIR STASH;
WITH THEIR PLOY DISCOVERED
THEY SAID THEY'LL GIVE IT BACK.
IF YOU OR I HAD DONE THE SAME
WE'D PROMPTLY GET THE SACK.

SING A SONG OF FREEBIES,
SNOUTS ALL IN THE TROUGH.
GIVING BACK THEIR ILL- GOT GAINS
IS JUST NOT GOOD ENOUGH.
SPONGING OFF OUR EARNINGS
WITH A LIKELY TALE,
IF WORKING FOLK HAD DONE
THE SAME
THEY'D SOON END UP IN JAIL.

SING A SONG OF FRAUDSTERS
COUNTING OUT THEIR MONEY.
THEY SMILE AND LOOK QUITE
UNASHAMED,
AS THOUGH THEY THINK ITS FUNNY;
SITTNG IN A SECRET PLACE,
COUNTING OUT THEIR DOSH,
ON PLUGS FOR BATHS AND
CLEANING MOATS,
FOR CRISPS AND ORANGE SQUASH.

SING A SONG OF MP's
WHO TOOK US FOR A RIDE.
IT'S UP TO US ELECTION TIME
THEIR FUTURE TO DECIDE.
IT'S GONE TOO FAR TO BRING BACK TRUST
OF ANYONE IN POWER.
TO MOST OF US THEY'LL ALWAYS BE
A SHIFTY, CROOKED SHOWER.

I cannot take the credit for this, author unknown.
Marian

[mariana44]

That is brilliant--so utterly true !!!

[Lena & Harry Smith]

It certainy is brilliant, It should be published in every National newspaper. Not that it would have any effect on the guilty. They have skins like a Rhinoceros.

[john]

That is a good one, Marian. Very true!

[keithgood838]

Perhaps I should remind the lads of this thread's theme,
while letting the lasses have a chuckle at our expense:

FASHION FAUX PAS

Socks worn with sandals
is a snigger-making sartorial gaffe,
defeating the ventilation exercise;
but when shorts complete the ensemble,
then guys give rise
to the passer-by's belly-laugh.
And a tie peeping out
atop a round-neck pullover -
what in the style-god's name
is that all about?

Keith Good

[keithgood838]

SIR PADRAIG

With that jaunty stride and toothy grin,
the champion's defence begins;
will it be a hat-trick of strikes win
when the Turnberry tourney ends?

Keith

[keithgood838]

For possible breach of copyright reasons, I do not post
the following in its entirety. However, I shall be happy
to email the complete poem to any forum member by request:

MRS REES LAUGHS

Laughter, with us, is no great undertaking,
A sudden wave that breaks and dies in breaking.
Laughter with Mrs Rees is much less simple:
It germinates, it spreads, dimple by dimple,
From small beginnings, things of easy girth,
To formidable redundancies of mirth.
Clusters of subterranean chuckles rise
And presently the circles of her eyes
Close into slits and all the woman heaves
As a great elm with all its mounds of leaves
Wallows before the storm ...
Then all that load of bottled mirth escapes
In one wild crow, a lifting of huge hands,
And creaking stays, and visage that expands
In scarlet ridge and furrow. Thence collapse,
A hanging head, a feeble hand that flaps
An apron-end to stir and waft
A steaming face. And Mrs Rees has laughed.

Jan Struther (1901 - 1953)

Keith

[Marian]

Have you seen Fern Britton laugh Keith, who has just left "This Morning"? She sounds like Mrs Rees!