Today's Joke

[Gray]

I must tell you all, every morning I return to my allotment and find someone has been mysteriously spreading soil over my crops...the plot thickens....

[mariana44]

Gray--I had to read that a couple of times--then I got it---it did make me laugh !!

[Marian]

[Gray]

Nice little play on words, isn't it?

[Marian]

Very clever Gray.
We missed you at Fans Reunited Hope all is well with you and your lovely family.

[Gray]

Hi Marian,

I cannot tell you how much I missed you all
I am so happy you had the best time, but of course, reading all your comments made me sad that I couldn't be there.

We are all well here, thanks, hope your family is also!

[keithgood838]

Your humour allotment is sprouting nicely, Gray.
Keep cultivating it.

DESSERT DEVELOPMENT

A little boy approaches Old Ned the gardener
and asks: 'What do you put on your rhubarb?'
'Usually rotted horse manure,' replies the old man.
'We have custard,' says the little boy.

DEITY DEVICES

A parson is congratulating a parishioner
on his success at transforming a derelict
plot of land into a beautiful garden.
'It's wonderful what man can achieve
with the help of the Almighty,' observes the parson.
'Yes,' replies the parishioner, 'but you should have seen
the state it was in when He had it all to Himself.'

[Gray]

A bit rude, this one.
I hope it doesn't offend anyone!

Three men: an American, a Japanese and an Irishman were sitting naked in the sauna. Suddenly there was a beeping sound. The American pressed his forearm and the beep stopped. The others looked at him questioningly. "That was my pager," he said. "I have a microchip under the skin of my arm."

A few minutes later a phone rang. The Japanese fellow lifted his palm to his ear. When he finished he explained, "That was my mobile phone I have a microchip in my hand."

Paddy felt decidedly low-tech. So as not to be outdone, he decided he had to do something just as impressive. He stepped out of the sauna and went to toilet. He returns with a piece of toilet paper hanging from his backside.

The others raised their eyebrows. "Will you look at that" says Paddy, "I'm getting a fax."

[karl]

I love it Gray!!!!!

[karl]

Apologies if someone has told this before.

A man walks into the doctor's surgery and says he doesn't feel very well and thinks he might have Tom Jones Syndrome. Well, said the doctor - "It's Not Unusual".

[Lena & Harry Smith]

OMG not another Brucie kinda joke. He done it again tonight on Strictly Come Dancing.
He introduced Alex Jones and said that Alex may be related to Tom Jones, although it might be a common name in Wales, IT'S NOT UNUSUAL

[keithgood838]

To continue Gray's technology theme:

CYBERSPACE SAYINGS

Home is where you hang your @

You can't teach an old mouse new clicks

Great groups from little icons grow

The geek shall inherit the Earth

Don't byte off more than you can view

What boots up must come down

There's no place like http/www.home.com

Windows will never cease

[karl]

Lena - Brucie has been stealing my jokes for years!!!!!!

[Lena & Harry Smith]

:
It wasn't you who taught him to dance those steps like a prat as well was it Karl,

[karl]

NO he manages that ALL by himself!!!!