Today's Joke

[Eman]

Lol Keith.. love it

[keithgood838]

I hope the following satire wil make you smile, Eman.

HYSTERIA

'The death warrant of Press freedom
has been signed,' holler the fourth estate
in a tantrum about the Royal Charter.
Yet they are aligned with a similar advocation
in Ireland with which they have passively
concurred, and where no decapitation
of Press freedom has occurred ...

[Eman]

Keith, you never fail to put a grin on my face...

[keithgood838]

Some more smile-inducing satire, I hope Eman:

POLITICAL FIREWORKS

The Blockbuster shell that was the under-regulated banks,
and which shook the based-on-borrowing economy to the core;
the Chinese Crackers of the Expenses scandal
that created a chain reaction of startling bangs,
and littered the public trust environment proving hard to restore,
plus the cheerless Barrage that is a seemingly never-ending financial
array of detonations on the disabled, the unemployed and the poor.

A bonfire by the blunderers that continues to appal -
maybe denigrated Guy Fawkes was on the right lines after all ...

[Eman]

[keithgood838]

'Happy the man whose wish and care,'
is met by ephemera posted here.

MIRROR, MIRROR ...

A wife standing nude in front of a mirror
exhorts her husband: 'I look unattractive;
I feel fat and ugly; say something to boost
my morale.'
'Your eyesight is perfect.'

[ROBERT M.]

[keithgood838]

RAVISHMENT REVEALED

Does the Munich discovery of artistic treasures,
usurped by the Nazis in their evil pomp,
include the Fallen Madonna with the Big Boobies
by Van Klomp?

[Lena & Harry Smith]

There could be quite a number of claimants to that one Keith

[Eman]

Ha ha..perfect eyesight Keith, classic!! I read that one on my phone during a break in our meeting and had to hold a straight face when the meeting started up again..ha ha..that's pretty hard to do!!!

[Marian]

I was in a public toilet and had just sat down, when I heard a voice from the next cubicle, he said, "hi, how are you?"

Embarrassed, I said, "I'm doing fine"

The voice said, "so what are you up to?"

I said, "just doing the same as you, sitting here"

From next door, "can I come over?"
Annoyed, I said, "rather busy right now"

The voice said, "listen, I will have to call you back, there's an idiot next door answering all my questions"

[ROBERT M.]

Marian did that really happen to you

[Gray]

Very funny, Marian

[karl]

Heard that before Marian but it's a good one.

A blonde treats herself to a new scarf, the next day she returns it to the store and tells the sales assistant "It's too tight"!!!!

[keithgood838]

CLIMACTIC CONVOLUTIONS

He allowed himself a smile of anticipated gratification
as his wife moved forward, then backwards, forward again,
then backwards again, back and forth, to and fro, in and out ...
She could feel the beads of sweat sprouting on her brow,
rivuleting in her cleavage, and trickling down her back.
Her heart pounded; her face was flushed crimson by her
exertions ... She began emitting agonised moans, soft at first,
then developing into groans that gradually rose in volume ...
The pressure cooker of her emotions was beginning to boil ...
Finally, exhausted, she let out an anguished scream and shouted:
'Okay! Okay! I can't park the damn car! You do it, you smug b**tard!'