Today's Joke

[Lena & Harry Smith]

Good one Marian, no senior moment in sight there.

[keithgood838]

A feather in the cap of the seniors there, Marian.
I should be on equally safe territory with an Irish joke:

AN INSPECTOR CALLS

Paddy McCoy, an elderly Irish farmer, received a letter
from the Department for Work & Pensions, stating that
they suspected he wasn't paying his staff the statutory
minimum wage. On the appointed day an inspector turned up.
'Tell me about your employees,' he requested of Paddy.
'Well, there's the farm hand; I pay him 240 euro a week
with cottage accommodation thrown in. There's the housekeeper
who gets 190 euro a week along with free board and lodging.
Then there's the half-wit; he works a 16-hour day, does 90%
of the work, earns 25 euro a week along with a bottle of whiskey.
As a special treat he occasionally gets to sleep with my wife.'
'That's disgraceful,' exclaimed the inspector, 'I need to interview
the half-wit.'
Paddy replied sheepishly: 'That'll be me then.'

[Eman]

Lol Keith!!!

[Marian]

Another good one Keith.

A man and a woman were having a quiet, romantic dinner in a fine restaurant.



They were gazing lovingly at each other and were holding hands. The waitress, taking another order at a table a few steps away,

suddenly noticed the woman slowly sliding down her chair and under the table - but the man stared straight ahead.



The waitress watched as the woman slid all the way down her chair and out of sight under the table. Still, the man stared straight ahead.



The waitress, thinking this behaviour a bit risqué and worried that it might offend other diners, went over to the table and, tactfully, began

by saying to the man "Pardon me, sir, but I think your wife just slid under the table."



The man calmly looked up at her and said, "No, she didn't. She just walked in."

[keithgood838]

That's a humorous gem, Marian. Here's one on the same theme
but not, I think, as funny:

WELL-COOKED CUISINE

A customer is ordering food in an Indian restaurant:
'Waiter, what's this chicken tarka?'
The waiter replies: 'It's the same as chicken tikka,
but a little 'otter.'

[Marian]

Keith.

Going back to the previous joke, I did see a lady slip under the table once, she went so elegantly! It was at a Christmas dinner where my husband worked. I think she had had one drink too many.

[Eman]

LOL Marian and Keith, you made me laugh today!! Thank you ever so much!!

[maxine]

I've always got time for a good joke ......love it

[john]

Good jokes Marian and Keith.

[ROBERT M.]

Was this the lady who slid under the table ?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Se5yS17S08

[Marian]

No, I'm afraid not Robert. I remember this clip from tv.

[Lena & Harry Smith]

Thank for the jokes, Keith and Marian. Made us laugh.
This is not a joke but still made me smile..

One often wonders how carried away some of these famous celebrities get, like for instance Barbara Knox from Coronation Street who burst into a police station when caught drink driving and declaring..... Do You Know Who I Am. !!
Similarly Brian Reade reports in his regular newspaper column yesterday..... that Steve Coogan gets annoyed at being labelled a celebrity by journalists. He feels it trivialises him. He would prefer to be called an actor--writer--producer who has an option.
Brian's answer....No that's far too long Steve,.. will pompous a...hole do.

[Marian]

Didn't Barbara Knox drive her daughter to the police station, as she had also been charged with drink driving?
Then she was charged too!

I remember a member of parliament who came in to the hospital where I worked, with his wife who had a fish bone in her throat, saying "Do you Know who I am?" I don't think it made any difference with his wife's treatment, in fact it might have made her wait longer!

I think Steve Coogan should be called an actor after his part in "Philomena," I was pleasantly surprised!

[Lena & Harry Smith]

I think Barbara Knox went to enquire about her daughter who had already been arrested first and the police realized she had driven there totally Brahms and Liszt.

That's what fame has done to many. They think they are more important than anyone else and should have special and preferential treatment.
It must have been alarming for that MP and his wife Marian, but I can understand if staff had felt inclined to delay the treatment.

I haven't seen the film Philomena yet, but it's an interesting story.

[keithgood838]

ON COURSE CONFUSION

Three retirees, each with declining hearing
in inverse proportion to their respective rising
handicaps, were playing golf one fine March
afternoon. One remarked to a colleague:
'Windy, isn't it?'
'No,' came the emphatic reply, 'it's Thursday!'
'So am I,' interjected the third player,'
'let's have a beer.'