Today's Joke
Re: Today's Joke
One of your best Keith
"My Tears Will Fall Now That You're Gone,
I Can't Help But Cry, But I Must Go On"
I Can't Help But Cry, But I Must Go On"
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keithgood838
- Posts: 2478
- Joined: Sun Feb 10, 2008 6:30 pm
Re: Today's Joke
Thanks folks, speaking of
RINGING ENDORSEMENTS
A security expert fitted his fiancee's engagement ring
with an alarm as protection against anyone trying to
steal it.
It works alarmingly well; now he is inundated with requests
for ring tones ...
RINGING ENDORSEMENTS
A security expert fitted his fiancee's engagement ring
with an alarm as protection against anyone trying to
steal it.
It works alarmingly well; now he is inundated with requests
for ring tones ...
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keithgood838
- Posts: 2478
- Joined: Sun Feb 10, 2008 6:30 pm
Re: Today's Joke
The following football gag is currently doing the rounds:
MANCHESTER UNITED'S MANAGER
Shortlisted for the Old Trafford vacancy successful Borussia Dortmund
manager Jurgen Klopp has said that he will not consider taking on the job.
He went on to say, however, that it would be of interest to his brother, Klippity.
MANCHESTER UNITED'S MANAGER
Shortlisted for the Old Trafford vacancy successful Borussia Dortmund
manager Jurgen Klopp has said that he will not consider taking on the job.
He went on to say, however, that it would be of interest to his brother, Klippity.
Last edited by keithgood838 on Sat Apr 26, 2014 2:30 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Lena & Harry Smith
- Posts: 21514
- Joined: Tue Jul 12, 2005 10:05 am
- Location: London UK
Re: Today's Joke
i read this out to hubby Keith not even thinking i would understand it , being footy and everything .... Softly, I will leave you softly
For my heart would break if you should wake and see me go.....
For my heart would break if you should wake and see me go.....
Re: Today's Joke
TAkes a brave woman to admit you might not get that Maxine, tell me are you legally blonde?maxine wrote:
Re: Today's Joke
A blonde girl visits her doctor and tell him she aches all over her body.
The doctor was rather sceptical and told her to touch the parts that are hurting.
She touched her legs, her face, her back and her front then said see I am sore no matter where I touch.
The doctor then looked at her hand and told her
You have a broken finger
The doctor was rather sceptical and told her to touch the parts that are hurting.
She touched her legs, her face, her back and her front then said see I am sore no matter where I touch.
The doctor then looked at her hand and told her
You have a broken finger
Re: Today's Joke
Ha ha.. Keith, I'm a Man U supporter..lol love the humour!!
LOL Karl!!!
LOL Karl!!!
Re: Today's Joke
Sorry, can't resist... MAY THE 4TH BE WITH YOU! 
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Lena & Harry Smith
- Posts: 21514
- Joined: Tue Jul 12, 2005 10:05 am
- Location: London UK
Re: Today's Joke
Thanks Marian, and all join in with....... Just A Thong At Twilight
Re: Today's Joke
It's the Fifth now ................May the 5th Be With You........... doesn't have the same ring to it ............
"My Tears Will Fall Now That You're Gone,
I Can't Help But Cry, But I Must Go On"
I Can't Help But Cry, But I Must Go On"
Re: Today's Joke
ROBERT M. wrote:It's the Fifth now ................May the 5th Be With You........... doesn't have the same ring to it ............
well it's alright i suppose Softly, I will leave you softly
For my heart would break if you should wake and see me go.....
For my heart would break if you should wake and see me go.....
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keithgood838
- Posts: 2478
- Joined: Sun Feb 10, 2008 6:30 pm
Re: Today's Joke
NURSERY RHYMES
(But not as we know them)
Mary had a little pig,
her father shot it dead;
now it goes to school with her
between two chunks of bread.
Jack and Jill went up the hill
to have a little fun;
stupid Jill forgot the pill
and now they have a son.
Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall,
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall;
all the king's horses and all the king's men
had scrambled eggs for breakfast again.
(But not as we know them)
Mary had a little pig,
her father shot it dead;
now it goes to school with her
between two chunks of bread.
Jack and Jill went up the hill
to have a little fun;
stupid Jill forgot the pill
and now they have a son.
Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall,
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall;
all the king's horses and all the king's men
had scrambled eggs for breakfast again.
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keithgood838
- Posts: 2478
- Joined: Sun Feb 10, 2008 6:30 pm
Re: Today's Joke
PRESIDENTIAL PERFORMANCE
Maybe it was prompted by the the plethora of reports
on the Ukrainian crisis, but last night I dreamed that
during a visit to London the Russian leader climbed on
to the roof of his hotel and started dancing in a scene
from my fantasy musical - Putin On The Ritz.
ANAGRAM
The Crimean Peninsula -
'Is a mere channel' - Putin
Maybe it was prompted by the the plethora of reports
on the Ukrainian crisis, but last night I dreamed that
during a visit to London the Russian leader climbed on
to the roof of his hotel and started dancing in a scene
from my fantasy musical - Putin On The Ritz.
ANAGRAM
The Crimean Peninsula -
'Is a mere channel' - Putin