Today's Joke

[mariana44]

I have something rather sweet, that was in my latest edition of our Church Magazine, and it seems quite appropriate just now--
[PS, I have shortened it a little]


Little Susie was out walking with her mother when a thunderstorm broke out, lots of thunder and lightning--when the mother looked at Susie to see if she was frightened, she was amazed to see that the child kept smiling at every crack of lightening.

When they got home, she asked her daughter," why were you smiling, out in the storm", and Susie said " I wanted to look pretty while God was taking my photo "

[ROBERT M.]

[keithgood838]

Thanks for that utterly charming little tale, Marian(a).
Is if fact or fiction? I may be able to translate into verse,
if your church magazine has no objections.
The theme reminds me of weatherman Francis Wilson's
whimsical description of thunder:
'It's God moving the furniture about.'
Keith

[keithgood838]

AFGHAN AMICABILITY

Following the public outcry over the shortage
of army helicopters for our soldiers in Afghanistan,
a new fleet arrives.
Delighted Dave and Barry decide to take theirs for a spin.
Dave enquires of Barry:
'If I turn this helicopter upside down,
do you think we'll fall out?'
Barry replies:
'Of course not, we'll always be friends.'

Keith

[mariana44]

Thanks Keith--I rather think that little story was fiction-plus I altered it slightly.

Here is another one from the same magazine.

Billy came home from his first day at church, and his mum noticed he had a pocket full of money. When she asked Billy where it came from, he looked innocvently at her, and said "I got it from the church--they had huge bowlfuls there !!"

[keithgood838]

Thanks for your cute follow-up church story, Marian(a).
I have taken the liberty of adapting them into
a single ecclesiasticallly-oriented humorous poem.
With your 'blessing' I shall post it on the Poems thread.
Keith

[mariana44]

Keith, I am looking forward to seeing what you have made out of my 2 little tales!!

[keithgood838]

Hi Robert
Like a Matt Monro song that delights your musical ear,
I hope the following joke equally appeals to you finely-tuned
sense of humour.(Assuming you haven't heard it.)

CRICKETING CONDESCENSION

Yorkshire and England batsman Geoff Boycott was practising
in the nets with a fellow batsman who was finding it difficult
putting willow to leather.
'Your problem,' intoned Boycott,
'is that there is a piece of crap on the end of your bat.'
The hapless player examined the misfiring weapon and asserted:
'No, my bat is clean.'
'T'other end,' smirked Boycott.

Keith

[ROBERT M.]

Hi Keith.

Sir Geoffrey never minces his words, does he ?

[Lena & Harry Smith]

Keith I was hoping the story ended up with Boycott having his nose rubbed in it. and yet he is one of Harry's heros.

[ROBERT M.]

Everyone in Yorkshire (almost everyone ) was calling him Sir Geoffrey long before he was actually knighted

[Lena & Harry Smith]

I'll bet he was TELLING everyone to call him Sir Geoffrey before he actually got knighted Robert

[ROBERT M.]

I bet the other players in the dressing room had to actually call him Sir Geoffrey

[Lena & Harry Smith]

Not if Freddie Truman had been in the same dressing room Robert

[mariana44]

I confess that I heard this joke this afternoon on the Graham Norton show, but even now , it still makes me laugh.

I think the subject was questions about food, and one of the questions was ..."Where would you go to weigh a pie".


The answer---"Somewhere over the rainbow---weigh a pie."