POEMS - With Tongue In Cheek

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keithgood838
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Re: POEMS - With Tongue In Cheek

Post by keithgood838 » Mon Dec 16, 2013 2:05 pm

Thanks folks; I shall continue to post my ephemera
provided my muse and sense of humour do not desert me:

PHONE-CALL PROFLIGACY

In the busy male locker room of a golf club a cellular phone rings
on a bench; a player engages the hands-free speaker function
and begins to talk. Everyone in the room stops to listen.
Player: 'Hello.'
Female Caller:' Hi honey, it's me. Are you at the club?'
'Yes.'
Caller: 'I'm at the shops and I found this beautiful leather coat.
It's only £2,000; is it okay if I buy it?'
Player: 'Sure it's okay by me.'
Caller: 'I was also attracted by the new models in the BMW showroom
and I saw one I really like.'
'How much is it?'
'30,000.'
'Okay for that price provided it includes all the options.'
Caller: 'Great! One more thing. I met Janie and she told me that
the house I wanted last year is back on the market. They're
asking £700,000 for it.'
Player: 'Since you have your heart set on it go ahead and put in an offer.'
Caller: 'Bye! I love you.'
'Bye, and good luck.'
He then addresses the audience staring at him in open-mouth astonishment:
'Anyone know whose phone this is?'

:wink:
Last edited by keithgood838 on Mon Dec 16, 2013 7:51 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Eman
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Re: POEMS - With Tongue In Cheek

Post by Eman » Mon Dec 16, 2013 2:30 pm

LOL!!! Oh wow that's gonna be one ticked so and so!!

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john
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Re: POEMS - With Tongue In Cheek

Post by john » Mon Dec 16, 2013 5:59 pm

Merry Christmas Keith. :)

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keithgood838
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Re: POEMS - With Tongue In Cheek

Post by keithgood838 » Mon Dec 16, 2013 8:09 pm

Thanks Eman, and reciprocated season's best wishes
to you John. I wish I had your technical knowhow because
I would then be able to copy the glorious colour photo that
accompanied a poem of mine just published in a Christmas
magazine. Please, therefore, with my apologies, imagine
a picturesque riverscape at sunset east of Bandon in West Cork.

STATELY SHIPPOOL

Like ardent royal wedding watchers
we gazed in rapt wonder on the Bandon river
at her most exquisitely majestic;
gliding towards shared destiny fulfilment,
ultimately to lose herself in the arms
of her groom-in-waiting ...

Keith Good

PS Forgive me for not posting Phone-Call Profligacy
on Today's Joke.

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keithgood838
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Re: POEMS - With Tongue In Cheek

Post by keithgood838 » Mon Dec 23, 2013 11:59 am

Seasonal lines recently composed for this forum:

ACROSTIC CHRISTMAS

'Come all ye faithful'
Herald angels sing
Regardless that like a pauper
Is born the divine King.
Sent as a celestial guide
To help self-harming Earth
Make revised travel plans
And leave dark vales of conflict for
Shining, love-blessed uplands ...

Keith Good

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maxine
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Re: POEMS - With Tongue In Cheek

Post by maxine » Mon Dec 23, 2013 6:49 pm

I love that Keith ...beautiful words
Softly, I will leave you softly
For my heart would break if you should wake and see me go.....

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keithgood838
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Re: POEMS - With Tongue In Cheek

Post by keithgood838 » Tue Dec 24, 2013 9:36 am

I'm glad you think I managed it Maxine,
notwithstanding the literary straitjacket
I wrapped myself in. Thank You and Merry Christmas.
:D

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Eman
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Re: POEMS - With Tongue In Cheek

Post by Eman » Tue Dec 24, 2013 10:10 am

What a wonderful poem Keith!

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keithgood838
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Re: POEMS - With Tongue In Cheek

Post by keithgood838 » Tue Dec 24, 2013 8:08 pm

Thanks Eman. Christmas reminds us of mankind's folly
in still spurning the 'shining, love-blessed uplands'.
Or as Robert Frost may have put it 'the road not taken'.
Seasonal blessings to you and yours this Christmas.
Keith

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Lena & Harry Smith
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Re: POEMS - With Tongue In Cheek

Post by Lena & Harry Smith » Wed Dec 25, 2013 12:57 am

Thank you for all your continuous humour and poem contributions Keith
Have a very Merry Christmas and peaceful New Year. :)

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Eman
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Re: POEMS - With Tongue In Cheek

Post by Eman » Wed Dec 25, 2013 2:12 am

Thank you Keith and the same to you and yours.

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Marian
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Re: POEMS - With Tongue In Cheek

Post by Marian » Wed Dec 25, 2013 9:55 am

Yes indeed Keith, thank you for your lovely and funny writings over the year and long they continue.
A Very Happy Christmas and all Best Wishes for 2014 to you and yours! :D

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keithgood838
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Re: POEMS - With Tongue In Cheek

Post by keithgood838 » Thu Dec 26, 2013 12:43 pm

Thank you folks, you're very kind
and I'm very touched - goes without saying.
:)

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keithgood838
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Re: POEMS - With Tongue In Cheek

Post by keithgood838 » Wed Jan 08, 2014 10:37 am

While eyes-freezing temperatures refrigerate the US,
and floods submerge parts of the storm-lashed UK,
allow me to administer the antidote of halcyon childhood
memories of my family's seaside day-trips. The following
verses, augmented by colour photographs, were published
in a West Cork magazine at Christmas:

THE SEDUCTIVE SISTERS

Curvaceously couchant to enrapture
with champagne-cocktail sophistication,
Harbour View could hardly fail to capture
the wonderment of our town-attuned gaze.

But we were drawn to the sheltering arms
of comforting-as-a-cuppa Coolmain,
eagerly falling for the frolicsome charms
of our seaside hostess on bygone days.

Keith Good

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Lena & Harry Smith
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Re: POEMS - With Tongue In Cheek

Post by Lena & Harry Smith » Wed Jan 08, 2014 12:43 pm

Very worthy of that publication too Keith :)

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