Having visited the butcher's, we are back on the high street,
this time calling in at the chemist's. Readers of a squeamish
disposition please note that the following jokes contain
some flash etymology:
COMICAL CHEMICALS
A man phones his local chemist:
'Do you sell incontinence pads?'
'Yes sir,' replies the chemist,
'can I ask where you are ringing from?'
The caller replies: 'From the waist down.'
A customer walks into a chemist's
and asks for an anal deodorant.
The chemist explains that he doesn't stock
such a product. The man insists that he bought
his last one from this store.
The nonplussed chemist asks the customer
to bring in his last purchase and he will attempt
to match it. The next day the man visits the store
and shows the deodorant to the chemist.
The words on the label read:
'To use, push up bottom.'
This is a true story told to us by a family friend
who shall be nameless to spare his blushes.
His dog contracted mange and in conversation
on the matter, his neighbour told him that he knew
of just the ointment to treat the problem,
thus saving on vet's fees. He scribbled the name
of the obscure product on a piece of paper, which
our friend took along to chemist's.
On handing over the medication the chemist enquired:
'Do you know how to apply this product?'
Being in a hurry and not wanting a long lecture
on the subject of sarcoptic mites, our friend replied jauntily:
'Oh yes, I use it all the time.'
On closer examination of the ointment outside the store,
our friend read: 'This medicament is for the treatment of
pubic hair lice.'