Today's Joke

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keithgood838
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Re: Today's Joke

Post by keithgood838 » Mon Apr 04, 2016 8:56 pm

Slightly less boring Robert,
and easier to stomach.

:wink:

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keithgood838
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Joined: Sun Feb 10, 2008 6:30 pm

Re: Today's Joke

Post by keithgood838 » Wed Apr 06, 2016 7:01 pm

PROXY PILLS

A woman goes to the doctor to get some medication
for her elderly husband. She is given some pills and
is told that he should take two every Sunday, Tuesday
and Wednesday and skip the remaining days of the week.
A month later she returns to tell the doctor that, alas,
her husband has died of a heart attack.
'I don't understand,' bewails the doctor, 'his heart hasn't
bothered him before.'
'Oh no,' exclaims the wife,' the pills did him good,
it was the skipping that killed him.'

:wink:

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karl
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Re: Today's Joke

Post by karl » Fri Apr 08, 2016 12:18 pm

As long as they never say Viagra you'll be alright!!! :wink:

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keithgood838
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Joined: Sun Feb 10, 2008 6:30 pm

Re: Today's Joke

Post by keithgood838 » Mon Apr 11, 2016 6:56 pm

Let's maintain the medical motif:

SCARY SURGERY

A patient was seen running along a hospital corridor
shortly before his operation.
'What's the matter?' enquired the concerned ward sister.
He gasped: 'I just heard a nurse say,"It's a very straightforward
operation. Don't worry. I'm sure it will be all right."'
'She was simply trying to comfort you,' said the sister
re-assuringly, 'what's so terrifying about that?'
The trembling patient replied: 'She wasn't talking to me;
she was talking to the surgeon.'

:wink:

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Eman
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Location: San Diego, CA USA

Re: Today's Joke

Post by Eman » Tue Apr 12, 2016 3:46 am

LOL!!! Love em' Keith

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keithgood838
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Re: Today's Joke

Post by keithgood838 » Wed Apr 13, 2016 4:27 pm

Eman, they say that love makes the world go round;
well I think occasional hefty humour also gives 'this
ball of clay' a few spins:

NOTEWORTHY NOMENCLATURE

Four male citizens of the British Isles are discussing how
they came to be blessed with their respective forenames:
'I'm called George because I was born on St George's Day,'
asserts the Englishman.
'I'm called Andrew because I was born on St Andrew's Day,'
declares the Scotsman.
The Welshman affirms: 'I'm called David because I was born
on St David's Day.'
The Irishman explains: 'I'm called Pancake because ...'

:wink:

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ROBERT M.
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Location: Yorkshire, England

Re: Today's Joke

Post by ROBERT M. » Thu Apr 14, 2016 3:18 am

Does Eman know about our Pancake Day I wonder ? :wink:
"My Tears Will Fall Now That You're Gone,
I Can't Help But Cry, But I Must Go On" :(

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keithgood838
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Re: Today's Joke

Post by keithgood838 » Thu Apr 14, 2016 12:47 pm

Hi Robert, Pancake Day isn't exclusive to us in Britain;
it is celebrated as part of the Mardi Gras in America.
:)

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keithgood838
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Re: Today's Joke

Post by keithgood838 » Wed May 04, 2016 6:59 pm

CANINE CAPERS

A Geordie loved his pet dog, so when it died
he decided to have it commemorated in the
form of a gold statue. He went to a local jeweller's
shop and enquired: 'Can ya make me a gold statue
of me dog?'
'Certainly sir,' replied the jeweller, 'would you like
it eighteen carat?'
'No, daft lad, I want it chewin' a bone.'

Our dog has developed the habit of chasing after
people on a bicycle.
I think I shall have to take away his bicycle.

:wink:

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ROBERT M.
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Location: Yorkshire, England

Re: Today's Joke

Post by ROBERT M. » Thu May 05, 2016 3:13 am

:) :) :wink: :wink:
"My Tears Will Fall Now That You're Gone,
I Can't Help But Cry, But I Must Go On" :(

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