AUTHORS' ANNEXE (English Language Discussions)

keithgood838 · Post by **keithgood838** » Sat Aug 30, 2008 12:03 pm

Thanks Marian, a variation on the theme of plural
noun compounds but infinitely funnier.
Keith.

keithgood838 · Post by **keithgood838** » Thu Sep 04, 2008 7:46 pm

I have a question for our literacy oracle, Jon,
regarding capitalising the initial letter of a sub-title.
My policy is only to cap when the sub-title is a stand alone
phrase, e.g.
RHYMES & REASONS
(Frolicking in English linguistics)

I do not cap where the sub-title follows as a sentence
continuation, e.g.
TABLE TENNIS SCHEMES
(gang aft a-gley)

I am not aware of any rules on this subject;
what are your thoughts, Jon?

Keith

Marian · Post by **Marian** » Sat Sep 13, 2008 4:49 pm

I was interested to see in the paper this morning that all letters of the alphabet can be written as words. This must be so rarely done, I don't think I have ever come across any of them. Except, "I'll have a pee please Bob"!
This is the full alphabet according to the Oxford dictionary ..
a, bee, cee, dee, e, ef, gee, aitch, i, jay, kay, el, em, en, o, pee, cue, ar, ess, tee, u, vee, double-u, ex, wy (or wye), zed.

Not a lot of people know that (MC)
Marian

ROBERT M. · Post by **ROBERT M.** » Sun Sep 14, 2008 9:32 pm

That is interesting Marian

.........................talking of letters of the alphabet, I've just got to pop for a.................zed...................... (pee really)

keithgood838 · Post by **keithgood838** » Tue Sep 16, 2008 9:47 am

I knew most of letters spelt as words, Marian,
however it was good to see them all listed, thanks.
My manuscript is now in the hands of a publisher,
Robert; the following is an extract therefrom:

S or Z

We pronounce the letter zed,
the Americans call it zee;
you may also use s but it must be said,
do so consistently.
It's a matter of personal preferences,
a zigzag or curved line?
For the way they stimulate the senses
curves will always be mine.

Keith

mariana44 · Post by **mariana44** » Tue Sep 16, 2008 10:48 am

I just caught a programme on BBC4 the other night-called "I'm sorry I haven't a clue"-I know it used to be on radio, but I had not seen it on Tv-It looked like a one-off as a tribute to Humphrey Lyttleton, who died 3 weeks afterwards.

It was so funny--lots of things to bring onto this thread--but here is the first one that I can remember--

How can you tell the difference between "habitable" and "livable"--

"Habitable" means that it is suitable for being occupied.

"Liveable" is where Scousers come from ....

Well, I thought it was funny

mariana44 · Post by **mariana44** » Tue Sep 16, 2008 10:50 am

Here is another one--although I have heard this one before, which is probably why I remember it--

Word definitions--

Insolent----someone who has fallen off the Isle of Wight Ferry !!!!

keithgood838 · Post by **keithgood838** » Wed Sep 17, 2008 7:25 pm

Hi Mariana
Thanks for those two little wordplay gems; I have adapted
'livable and habitable' for my manuscript as follows:

LOVELIFE
Come live with me and be my love,
and we will all the pleasures prove.

Oh to find a livable Miss,
one lovelier than the rest;
and then the connubial bliss
of a habitable love-nest.

Livable, dictionary definition:
agreeable, livable with. Habitable:
livable in. Connubial: pertaining to marriage.
(The lines in italics are taken from The Passionate
Shepherd to his Love, by Philip Marlowe, 1564-1593.)

Keith

PS I hope to include your humorous definitions also,
provided I won't be in breach of copyright rules. This
forum is a proving a brilliant source of material,
for which I shall be eternally grateful.

keithgood838 · Post by **keithgood838** » Wed Sep 17, 2008 7:42 pm

Hi Marian
I realised from an earlier post of yours that I hadn't
included a piece on the punctuation brace; the following
corrects that omission:

THE BRACE BRACKET

This is a tale of printing discrimination
perpetrated against the curl-rich brace,
for one may scour textbooks on punctuation
and of the little mark not find a trace,
whether it be a profile presentation
of full prospect of the pretty face.

Keith

PS {I shall include a better example than this one}
Many thanks.

keithgood838 · Post by **keithgood838** » Sat Sep 20, 2008 10:20 am

Last Monday I returned from a golfing break;
next Monday sees the start on the table tennis season.
Barnet's inability to win a football match is the only
cloud in my sporting sky.

TABLE TENNIS SCHEMES
(gang aft a-gley)

Relishing a results-rich run of form,
I set off for the night's game full of gorm;
throughout the evening I would not be ruth,
my killer instinct sometimes wanes, in truth.
My tactics in each contest would be ept
and focused concentration would be kept,
I would move in a chalant, gainly way
as list and ert invigorate my play.

Then ugly gruntlement struck as before:
how could I know what the fates held in store?

Joe Kerr

keithgood838 · Post by **keithgood838** » Wed Oct 01, 2008 4:03 pm

Just as theme-tune composers are the unsung
(and not because they don't write lyrics) heroes
of music, so newspaper headline writers are
the Cinderellas of the written word. Here are
a few classics:

'Where there's muck there's bras.'
A story about a farmer's wife who started
a lingerie business from a barn.

'Bad lights stopped play.'
An item about a power failure in a theatre.

'Book lack in Ongar.'
A report on under-resourced libraries in Essex.

Keith

mariana44 · Post by **mariana44** » Wed Oct 01, 2008 5:20 pm

They are very funny-I especially like the last one !!!

Marian · Post by **Marian** » Wed Oct 01, 2008 5:57 pm

Very clever Keith.

Marian.

keithgood838 · Post by **keithgood838** » Thu Oct 02, 2008 7:45 pm

Thanks, Marian
Continuing my media motif, I wonder what enigmatic
force of nomeclature is at work in matching people
in the news with their professions or newsworthiness.
I remember that in January reporting on skirmishes
between Greenpeace and Japanese whalers was a BBC
journalist, Jonah Fisher, and a newspaper story about
a Surrey farmer who secretly built a mock Tudor castle
concealed under straw in an attempt to circ-umvent planning laws,
his name: Robert Fidler. I read, in a recent Daily
Mail, extracts from a book including a report about a guest
speaker at a Spiritualist church in Stevenage whose name
was Mr Deadman, and reference was made to a county
traffic co-ordinator called Mr Bollard. We all remember
the fastest sprinter at the Olympics, appropriately named,
U. Bolt. Food for thought?
Keith

Marian · Post by **Marian** » Thu Oct 02, 2008 9:21 pm

I've heard a few similar lately too Keith. The only one I can remember off hand though is an oarsman in the Olympics, a Mr Rowbottom.

Marian