AUTHORS' ANNEXE (English Language Discussions)

[keithgood838]

I saw that item too, Marian, and I could scarcely believe my ears.
As you asserted in an earlier post, the verb 'thought' is the past tense
of the verb 'think'. 'Thunk' is an infantile aberration that has no place
in the English lexicon. Have no 'truck' with it. Oh dear, not that again.
Keith

[Marian]

At least you have the 'pluck' Keith, to put us all straight!
Marian

[mariana44]

I am so glad--I thunk it just sounded awful

[keithgood838]

STIRRING THE POT

The agitators assiduously
applied themselves in their
efforts to foment unrest.
They succeeded so successfully
that citizens everywhere
were in a ferment of discontentedness.

Keith

Note. Ferment is a noun (trouble) and a verb (to stir up).
Foment is a verb only, meaning the application of a warm
lotion to; to foster (usually evil). Fomentation is a noun.
(This post is to prevent forum members from getting themselves
into a linguistic ferment, and to foment literary peace of mind.)

[keithgood838]

SIGNS OF THE (LESS LITERATE) TIMES
(courtesy of Ed in Orlando)

In an office building:
TOILET OUT OF ORDER. PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW

In a laundromat:
AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES - PLEASE REMOVE
ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN LIGHT GOES OUT

In an office:
AFTER TEA-BREAK STAFF SHOULD EMPTY THE TEAPOT
AND STAND UPSIDE DOWN ON THE DRAINING BOARD

Outside a secondhand shop:
WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING - BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES ETC.
WHY NOT BRING YOUR WIFE ALONG AND GET A GREAT BARGAIN?

Spotted in a safari park:
ELEPHANTS PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR

Seen during a performance:
FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN'T KNOW IT,
THERE IS A DAY CARE CENTRE ON THE FIRST FLOOR

Notice in a farmer's field:
THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE,
BUT THE BULL CHARGES

Message on a leaflet:
IF YOU CANNOT READ, THIS LEAFLET WILL TELL YOU HOW TO GET LESSONS

On a repair-shop door:
WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR -
THE BELL DOESN'T WORK)

Keith

[keithgood838]

THE TRIALS OF THE TORTURED TWO
(Programme One)

'Welcome to today's live broadcast.'
Thus in hushed tones the television presenter
introduces coverage of court proceedings from the Petty Sessions.
'This Court of Semantics is now in session,' announces the clerk.
'We are here,' states the judge,'to consider the action brought
under the Misuse of Words Act, by complainant Decimate
against journalists, writers generally and broadcasters
who, it is claimed, persistently misrepresent what the word stands for.
I therefore call on counsel to put the case for the complainant.'

'Thank you m'lud. My client wishes me to say,
with all the eloquence at my command, that the word decimate
does not mean the destruction of something - it is a verb
meaning to reduce by one-tenth. My client is justifiably indignant
about being associated with catastrophe, and having
his character constantly defamed. If your lordship pleases,
we can provide written and verbal evidence of this wrongdoing.'

Judge: 'In the absence of any defence representation in this case,
I find in favour of the complainant and I impose a punishment
on ninety days community service on the guilty parties,
under the strict condition that they work tirelessly during this time,
with their colleagues in the media, to stamp out this invidious
literary transgression.'

Presenter: 'Join us again for some more courtroom drama.'

Keith Good

[mariana44]

I just read something on Teletext that I thought sounded strange---someone was actually writing about bad grammar, and how much of it there is everywhere--and he mentioned about everything that was broadcasted !!

I am sure that broadcasted is not a valid word---I always assumed that the past tense of "broadcast" is just the same ie broadcast.

[keithgood838]

Hi Marian(a)
The past tense and past participle of the verb cast
is cast, no ifs or buts. However the same stricture
does not apply to the verb broadcast since some linguistic
authorities allow broadcasted.
The standard of English in broadcasting generally has dropped
alarmingly in recent times, even to the point that the news
items become ambiguous. The singular verb is in conjunction
with a plural noun (eg Terry Wogan: 'there is seven questions left')
is now a common occurrence, sadly. Where will it all end?
Keith

[mariana44]

Thanks Keith---I still think that "broadcasted" sounds totally wrong.

[keithgood838]

I agree Marian(a). I don't like 'broadcasted' either.
In a news report on BBC television on Friday,
it wasn't clear whether we were being told
that someone was banned from having a five-year
dog licence or banned from having a dog licence
for five years. Probably the latter, but it underlines
the importance of clarity.
Keith

PS Your reply was instantaneous, it is like having a conversation.

[keithgood838]

THE TRIALS OF THE TORTURED TWO
(Programme Two)

'Welcome to this second telecast from the Court of Semantics.'
The presenter's introduction is the cue for proceedings to commence.
'Our task today,' intones the judge, 'is to hear evidence
of misrepresentation, in this civil action, brought by Fulsome
against members of the media. I therefore call on counsel
for the complainant to present his case.'

'Thank you, m'lud. My client requires me to make the court aware
the Fulsome's function in the lexicon is to convey fawning subservience,
not admiration. He feels this misinterpretation of his raison d'etre
causes confusion not of his making, and he wishes it to cease forthwith.
M'lud, I present page 525 of Chambers Dictionary in evidence.'

Judge: 'I consider the case proven beyond reasonable doubt
and find for the complainant. However, in view of the less serious
nature of the offences, I propose to let the perpetrators off
with a caution as to their future conduct. I shall not show similar
leniency should this matter be presented for my judication again.'

Presenter: 'Join us here for the resolution of more language litigation.'

Keith Good

[keithgood838]

Here we continue the theme of words used inappropriately.

ENORMITY

To contextualise
the word in terms of size
is a common misrouting to make;
the signpost magnitude
complied with will preclude
the wrong turning of the mistake.

AND ANOTHER THING ...

To some travellers through life
all that seems to matter is size,
as with enormity
so to its criminal cousin monstrous,
a similar misdirection applies.

Keith Good

Enormity, dictionary definition:
outrage, a great crime.
Monstrous: out of the common course
of nature, outrageous.

[keithgood838]

I am against Britain joining the euro on grammatical grounds:

CURRENCY CONCERNS

One pound sterling = two euro. Dream on.
Following the inflation fallout from decimalisation,
we may as well prepare for the financial pain
of the 'change' in the UKs cash configuration
that will inevitably come next.
It will go against the grammatical grain
to use the singular noun (euro)
when set in a plural context;
better to keep our pence
than commit the linguistic sin
of using cent in the plural sense.

Keith

Note. Purists recoil in horror from the proposition
that the adoption of the single currency here
will result in the same grammatical double clanger
that has befallen the Republic of Ireland.

PS does any forum member know why all of the euro's
cash denominations are calibrated in singular nouns,
eg 10 cent, 25 euro?

[keithgood838]

Re Unravelling Literary Mysteries.
When trying to settle on which one,
I decided here I would post None.

NONE

Such an innocuous pronoun,
yet is has a troubling history;
therefore let me hereby give
you the keys to its mystery.
Use none is when 'not one' is meant,
when the verb is singular:
Saint John's gospel tells us that
none of us is without sin.
When the verb is plural use none are,
in the sense of 'not any':
'Someone's snaffled all the biscuits,
there are none left in the tin.

Keith

Note. In informal spoken contexts,
the plural verb are is commonly used.

[jon]

Hi Keith

I entirely agree with you on the use of "none", but your approach is almost universally ignored nowadays. It is part of my job at work to correct people's grammar and I have now almost given up on correcting this particular error. While I would myself always treat "none" as singular (except for the kinds of instance you rightly describe re the biscuits), most people take the view that to say "none are" doesn't affect the meaning in any way and so the point is really only a technical one and therefore, they say, irrelevant. And maybe they're right...