AUTHORS' ANNEXE (English Language Discussions)

[keithgood838]

Hi Gray
I assume Eddie was being subtly erroneous with the title.
I'll make a point of reading the book, I'm sure it is a hoot.
Thanks.

I'm not sure which is funnier, the following series of slip-ups
or the fact that they were made by VIPs.

MIND THE MIXED METAPHORS

'We stand at the abyss, let us march forward together.'

'You are sitting on the fence and burying you head in the sand.'

'West Berlin is an oasis of democracy in a sea of communism.'

'Are we going to sit back and take this lying down?'

'He came out of the blocks firing on all cylinders.'

Keith

Note. The names of the persons quoted here
are withheld to protect the guilty.

[keithgood838]

The Supreme Court in America recently ruled that,
because of the placement of a comma in the Second
Amendment of the Constitution, the right to bear arms
applied to all the people, not just to militias necessary
for state security.

PUNCTUATION

Is a parade ground for wayward words and phrases,
whereon they are marshalled and moulded into coherent forces.
Line-ups start smartly with a capital letter
and a full stop dutifully falls in to conclude each phase.
The semi-colon divides text into two or more squads;
the colon's function is paraphrasing Fowler:
'that of delivering the munitions that have been invoiced
by the preceding words'.
The humble comma obeys the command
briefly to pause, often following expressions
such as moreover and however or to create
a subordinate clause pincer movement.
Dashes and brackets are also deployed to contain
parenthesis. The co-operative hyphen (not to be confused
with its longer, dashing comrade) lines up in a co-ordinating
capacity, combining the skills of compatible companions.
[Square brackets are reinforcements brought in from outside
on the instructions of the field marshal.]
The exclamation mark stands at the end of the line
to record any surprise attack or excitement,
while the question mark also takes up a rearguard position
and is in a permanent quandary.
The three-point spaced ellipsis joins the ranks
of stalwarts signed up to continuing commitment ...
The drill sergeant's barked commands
appear in single quotes; those to be done at the double
usually appear within single orders only.
Lastly, the apostrophe's role is to signal possession
of territory, prisoners, weapons and so on,
saluting before the singular possessive s
and striking the same respectful pose after the plural one.
It also reminds us of casualties missing the action.
Thus with such well-drilled warriors, skilfully deployed,
will the war of words be won.

Keith Good

Note. A clause that is essential to the meaning
of a sentence should not be enclosed within commas:
'The army captain who distinguished himself in the
Falklands War was awarded a gallantry medal.'
(Square brackets enclose an editor's claryifing insertion.)

[Marian]

Thought this might be of interest, from today's paper.

THE POWER OF WORDS
by Letitia Elizabeth Landon (1802-1838)

'Tis a strange mystery, the power of words!
Life is in them, and death.
A word can send the crimson colour
hurrying to the cheek.
Hurrying with many meanings;
or can turn the current
cold and deadly to the heart.
Anger and fear are in them;
grief and joy are on their sound;
yet slight, impalpable:-
A word is but a breath of passing air.

Marian

[keithgood838]

Thanks for that, Marian.
There is a faint echo of the Beegees great lyric, Words,
in Letitia Landon's piece. From his all-seeing vantage point,
I'm sure Matt approves of our literary meanderings.
He always impressed me by his articulateness and
appreciation of words especially, of course, song lyrics.
Keith

[keithgood838]

I read some humorous snippets on the ageing process
in today's paper. They reminded me of the following:

HOW TO KNOW YOU'RE GROWING OLD

When the gleam in your eyes is the sun hitting your bifocals.
You feel like the night before but you haven't been anywhere.
You get winded playing chess.
You're still chasing the opposite sex but you can't remember why.
You know all the answers but nobody asks you the questions.
You look forward to a dull evening.
You sit in a rocking chair, but you can't make it go.
Your knees buckle, but your belt won't.
You sink your teeth into a steak and they stay there.
You stop looking forward to your next birthday.
After painting the town red you need a rest
before applying the second coat.
Dialling long distances wears you out.
You remember today that yesterday was your anniversary.
You burn the midnight oil after 7 p.m.
Your back goes out more than you do.
Your fortune teller offers to read your face.
You turn out the light for economical rather than romantic reasons.
You're seventeen round the neck, forty-two round the waist
and ninety-nine round the golf course.
You've too much room in the house but not enough
in the medicine cabinet.
You finally reach the top of the ladder only to find
it is leaning against the wrong wall.
Keith

[mariana44]

I guess some of those could apply to me---but I am not saying how many---or which ones---but they did make me smile

[keithgood838]

If it's true that love conquers all, Mariana,
I think humour comes a very close second.
One has to have a laugh, doesn't one?
Keith

[Lena & Harry Smith]

Of course we have to have a laugh Keith but this is where we're being deadly serious.
Do you know that Senior Citizens are the Nations leading carriers of Aids

Hearing aids, Band aids, Walking aids, Medical aids, Roll aids, and Monetary aids to the kids.
So the good old Golden Years have come at last.

[Marian]

Good one Lena and Harry

Here's another serious query for Keith though.
Which is the correct term to use, 'Different from' or 'Different to'?
I believe it to be 'from' but most seem to use 'to' or are both correct?
Marian

[keithgood838]

Yes Marian, L&H can always be relied upon for a pertinent
(often witty) contribution to any discussion. They are exemplars
of the assertion that experience and learning go hand in hand.
Thanks for raising the subject of 'from and to'. I hope the
following helps:

EBB and FLOW

Different is an at-arms-length word
and compatible with from,
while similar seems to reach outward
with an unspoken "come".

I would employ similar to
and different from, if I were you.

Keith

Note. Prepositions are Lady Language's free-spirited
offspring; different to seems increasingly to be finding
favour with the literati. Different than is acceptable
only when it precedes a clause: his feelings for her
now are different than when they met. it precludes
prolix phrases such as: from those that he had.

[Marian]

Thank you once again for your ever helpful explanation Keith.
Marian

[Marian]

Here's some alternative definitions of certain words for you..


ADULT:
A person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now growing in the middle.

BEAUTY PARLOUR:
A place where women curl up and dye.

CANNIBAL:
Someone who is fed up with people.

CHICKENS:
The only animals you eat before they are born and after they are dead.
COMMITTEE:
A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours.

DUST:
Mud with the juice squeezed out.

EGOTIST:
Someone who is usually me-deep in conversation.

HANDKERCHIEF:
Cold Storage.

INFLATION:
Cutting money in half without damaging the paper.

MOSQUITO:
An insect that makes you like flies better.

RAISIN:
Grape with a sunburn.

SECRET:
Something you tell to one person at a time.

SKELETON:
A bunch of bones with the person none off.

TOOTHACHE:

The pain that drives you to extraction.

TOMORROW:
One of the greatest labour saving devices of today.
YAWN:
An honest opinion openly expressed.


and MY Personal Favourite!!
WRINKLES:
Something other people have,
similar to my character lines.

Marian

[keithgood838]

Thanks for the novel word definitions, Marian.
Below is an abridged version of a poem by a favourite
of mine, Edward Thomas, who was killed by a shell
blast in Arras on 9 April 1917 aged just thirty-nine.

WORDS

Out of us all
That make rhymes,
Will you choose
Sometimes -
As the winds use
A crack in the wall
Or a drain,
Their joy or their pain
To whistle through -
Choose me,
You English words?

Make me content
With some sweetness
From Wales
Whose nightingales
Have no wings,
Wiltshire and Kent
And Herefordshire,
And the villages there,
From the names, and the things,
No less.
Let me sometimes dance
With you,
Or climb
Or stand perchance
In ecstasy,
Fixed and free
In a rhyme,
As poets do.

Keith

[keithgood838]

I plead guilty to ambivalence when referring to
the messages we send via this forum, alternating
between post and posting. On looking
into the matter I have come to the conclusion
(perhaps predictably) that post represents the more
correct usage. Although also a noun, posting functions
mainly in verb form, and is the present participle of
the verb post, e.g. 'post a letter'.
So hats off to the website designer and forum members
who always use the noun, post.
Incidentally, post may also be used as an adverb,
e.g. post haste, and as a preposition in the context
of after. I knew you would be transfixed by this news.
Keith

[keithgood838]

Here is an example of the difference a single letter
can make to meaning:

DEGREES OF DISLIKE

The adjective loath (also spelt loth)
indicates mere reluctance,
an unwillingness to trust.
The intense verb loathe
stretches from repugnance
to the cesspool of disgust.

Keith