AUTHORS' ANNEXE (English Language Discussions)

keithgood838 · Post by **keithgood838** » Tue Oct 21, 2008 3:27 pm

I guess the following story could be titled:

THE TRIUMPH OF AGE OVER YOUTH.

an old Mississippi farmer converted a pond on his land
into a swimming pool complete with table and sun loungers.
One day on walking to his orchard to pick some apples
he came across four young women skinny dipping without
permission. Upon seeing the farmer they all swam to the
deep end of the pool and exclaimed:
'We're not getting out until you leave.'
Unabashed the old farmer replied:
'I'm not bothered about seeing you ladies naked,'
and holding up the bucket he was carrying continued,
'I'm here to feed the alligator!'

Keith

keithgood838 · Post by **keithgood838** » Wed Oct 22, 2008 2:01 pm

VERSATILITY in the ROUND

A round (noun) of Christmas drinks kindly served,
we gather round (preposition)
the round (adjective) tables at our port (not the tipple)
of call and marvel at how speedily our reunions
come round (adverb).
We are ships that have safely rounded (verb) another year.

Keith Good

Note. On a government memorandum
circulating in Whitehall during the Eighties,
a not-so-civil servant wrote 'Round objects'
in disapproval. 'Who is Round?' enquired Mrs T,
'and why does he object?'

keithgood838 · Post by **keithgood838** » Mon Oct 27, 2008 6:45 pm

Returning again to the mysterious nomenclature theme,
the editor of Country Life in one Mark Hedges - conveniently.
Keith

keithgood838 · Post by **keithgood838** » Tue Oct 28, 2008 2:26 pm

I hope the following will help members of the forum
to resolve the stationery/stationary spelling conundrum.

A & E

Remembering the Es in stationery's material,
letter and pen and even olde worlde parchment,
will ensure that you do not end up stationary (still)
in spelling's embarrassing accident department,
yet removed from any emergency remedial treatment.

Keith

mariana44 · Post by **mariana44** » Tue Oct 28, 2008 6:28 pm

Thanks Keith--Paul gave a reminder previously--but I need all the help that I can get !!

keithgood838 · Post by **keithgood838** » Thu Oct 30, 2008 1:45 pm

Hi Mariana
The following is the result of my most recent
toe-dip into lexical waters, still featuring the letter A:

A DISABLING AGENT

Like anaesthesia, a prefixing adjectives
such as moral, makes us amoral (having no moral principles),
makes us apolitical (indifferent to politics),
asexual (having no interest in sex),
asymmetrical (having no beauty of form or proportion),
atypical (having no distinguishing mark),
and worst of all, causes us to become atheistic,
losing our belief in God.

Truly a foul vowel.

Keith

keithgood838 · Post by **keithgood838** » Tue Nov 11, 2008 2:58 pm

Yet another addition to our names-matching-occupations
library: yesterday's Guardian Country diary was written
by a reporter who photographed scenes 'of happy summer climbs'
in the lake District, his name - Tony Greenbank.

Keith

keithgood838 · Post by **keithgood838** » Wed Nov 12, 2008 8:12 pm

I make an annual pilgrimage to an unspoilt seaside village
in West Cork. It comprises three pubs, one shop, a hotel
and an RNLI lifeboat. I described it elsewhere as 'a multi-
colour-washed crescent cuddling a boat-bedecked bay'.
I invite you, my forum friend, to visit the village vicariously:

WEST CORK WHIMSY

I have just come back from Courtmacsherry.
Warm and welcoming it was, resplendent in Sunday-best
sunshine; an uncluttered little gem of a place in
an emerald setting and sparkling like the sea paying
moon-endorsed homage at its feet. I strolled the L-shaped pier
to the accompaniment of chugging craft, seagull cries
and the caresses of lung-clearing, sea-scented breezes.
I found some attractive artefacts in the shrubbery-surrounded
Arts & Crafts Centre, and I feasted at The Lifeboat Inn
on dew-fresh, oven-hot fisherman's pie washed down with
was is known colloquially as the blonde in the black dress.
Walking to work off my prandial excesses I marvelled at
the sudden appearance of the revealed-by-tide, bird-invaded
sandbank, which seemed like a benign blade connecting
both ends of the crescent-shaped village, with the approach
road forming a handle.
As the day donned evening wear, I imbibed contemplatively
on the one-table terrace of The Pier House bar and,
as the cratur combined with the setting sun to bathe the bay
in a glorious golden glow, I mused : 'This is a glimpse of Heaven.'

And I made the daytrip in my head,
without leaving my north London bed.

Keith Good

mariana44 · Post by **mariana44** » Wed Nov 12, 2008 11:40 pm

Very evocative Keith.

Have you ever heard of a place called Cappoquin---George and i-along with 2 friends went there for a fishing holiday-many years ago--I even managed to catch a trout, which we cooked on our little camping stove for our breakfast.

You just reminded me of that holiday, and bought back some special memories for me.

keithgood838 · Post by **keithgood838** » Thu Nov 13, 2008 11:55 am

Thanks Mariana
Yes I have heard of Cappoquin; it's situated on the northern
bank of the Blackwater in Waterford, a river shared between
counties Waterford and Cork. Did George have connections
with Ireland? He seemed to be the type to revel in the craic.
Matt himself also always struck me as qualifying for the accolade
of honorary Irishman: someone of unpretentious charm,
a great conversationalist who loved to sing. A kindred spirit.
Glad you enjoyed the piece.
Keith.

keithgood838 · Post by **keithgood838** » Tue Nov 18, 2008 4:27 pm

An entertaining article in today's Daily Mail includes
a punctuation difference of opinion between Lynne Truss
(Eats, Shoots & Leaves) and the founder of the Apostrophe
Protection Society, John Richards.
The debate is about which of the following represents
the correct use of the apostrophe:

(a) Dos and don'ts
(b) Do's and don'ts
(c) Do's and don't's

Ms Truss claims that 'c' is right because an apostrophe
is sometime required in plurals.
Mr Richards asserts that (a) is right and Ms Truss is wrong
because there is no role for for apostrophes in plurals at all.
It is my contention that Mr Richards is right, but not for the
reason he gives: (a) is right because Dos has no letters
missing therefore there is no need for an apostrophe,
and don'ts is right because the letter missing from the
full words 'do nots' requires an apostrophe. I cannot see how
Ms Truss can justify the inclusion of the third apostrophe in (c).
If the experts cannot get it right, what chance have we lesser
mortals got?

Keith

Note. Apostrophes are necessary in plurals of single numbers
and single letters, e.g. i's and 6's.

mariana44 · Post by **mariana44** » Tue Nov 18, 2008 5:58 pm

If I had to choose, I think "A" is the one I would have gone for last--it just does not look right--logically "b" looks the best--or most correct !!

Marian · Post by **Marian** » Tue Nov 18, 2008 6:24 pm

I'd have chosen (a) Keith.
Marian

keithgood838 · Post by **keithgood838** » Tue Nov 18, 2008 8:46 pm

Well done, ladies - I'm proud of you maids Marian;
but not surprised you both hit the target.

Keith

jon · Post by **jon** » Wed Nov 19, 2008 11:13 am

I agree with (a) too, Keith. Bit surprised at Lynne Truss, who has made an issue of correct grammar and punctuation in recent years.