The worst songs ever.....what are yours?

Lena & Harry Smith · Post by **Lena & Harry Smith** » Sat Sep 02, 2006 12:13 am

Hi Diane, Lonnie Donegan recorded and made popular "Does Your Chewing Gum Lose It's Flavour On The Bedpost Over Night" back in the Fifties, but it was originally a top Ten hit in the Twenties with Ernest Hare and Billy Jones with the title "Does The Spearmint Lose It's Flavour On The Bedpost Over Night."
Now not a lot of people know that

ROBERT M. · Post by **ROBERT M.** » Sat Sep 02, 2006 5:03 pm

Yes Lena and Harry, but not many people are as OLD as you two are

diane · Post by **diane** » Sat Sep 02, 2006 5:07 pm

I remember Lonnie Donegan well, but wasn't around in the twenties so haven't heard of the others who recorded it!

You two certainly know some stuff!!!

ROBERT M. · Post by **ROBERT M.** » Sat Sep 02, 2006 5:11 pm

I have been chasing you up and down the message boards for the past half an hour diane

Lena and Harry WERE around in the twenties, that is how they know so much information

Lena & Harry Smith · Post by **Lena & Harry Smith** » Sat Sep 02, 2006 5:43 pm

Hi Robert just for that we're not going to divulge our ages now

.
Anyway, have you ever run a marathon ??

ROBERT M. · Post by **ROBERT M.** » Sun Sep 03, 2006 12:51 am

Don't tell me one of you two DID?? if you did it must have been in the mid nineteen thirties

Lena & Harry Smith · Post by **Lena & Harry Smith** » Sun Sep 03, 2006 9:14 am

Ah but Chris Brasher didn't start them in London until 1981

mariana44 · Post by **mariana44** » Sun Sep 03, 2006 11:37 am

Hi all----I've just remembered another shocker---Joe Dolce singing "Shaddup you face".

Even worse, I actually bought the single for George, as he liked it!!!

What can you say

Marian

Lena & Harry Smith · Post by **Lena & Harry Smith** » Sun Sep 03, 2006 2:19 pm

What about Chuck Berry's My Ding-A- Ling then

diane · Post by **diane** » Sun Sep 03, 2006 2:34 pm

How about

WALKING BACKWARDS FOR CHRISTMAS

Spike Milligan and the Goons...

ROBERT M. · Post by **ROBERT M.** » Sun Sep 03, 2006 5:33 pm

Lena and Harry, did you get the idea of "My- Ding a Ling" from the rude post on the other page

It beats holding ones hand anyway

Chris Brasher started the London marathon in 1981, but the Greeks started the marathons centuries ago, so does that mean you were both around and running in marathons in THOSE days

I thought so

Lena & Harry Smith · Post by **Lena & Harry Smith** » Mon Sep 04, 2006 7:06 pm

Hi Robert, our minds are as pure as driven snow.
Not sure what those Greeks got up to centuries ago, but the only other marathon we knew about was the chocolate bar with the creamy caramel centre Yummy

Terrajel · Post by **Terrajel** » Mon Sep 04, 2006 7:56 pm

Hi All,

Good old Rolf Harris (nothing personal, good on ya me old cobber) must rate quite high on the list of some people's most favourite appalling songs, as it were.

The Xmas that Santa bought my first every electrical doobry (a Grundig reel-to-reel mono tape recorder), I remember Rolf drove us nuts with "Two Little Boys". It was the Xmas no. 1 I think. Then there was "I've Lost My Mummy", "The Court of King Caractacus", Jake the Peg", and THAT cover of "Stairway to Heaven"....just to mention a few. Yep, pop-pickers, you guessed....good old Terra's got "The Best of Rolf Harris on CD

Didgeridoo-tastic, music lovers...

Mind you, that was an epic Xmas with that tape recorder that I shall never forget....because Santa also bought me a tape with it named "The Hits of Yesterday", and that was when and where I heard Matt Monro for the very first time....

Terra

Lena & Harry Smith · Post by **Lena & Harry Smith** » Mon Sep 04, 2006 9:35 pm

Hi Terra, hope you enjoyed your holiday and good to see your posting on the worst recordings. Yes "Two Lttle Boys" and "I Want My Mummy" and "Jake The Peg" oh dear

well at least "The Hits Of Yesterday"
compensated, but Rolfe's nightmares reminded us of that other one of Charlie Drakes..... "My Boomerang Won't Come Back " and one even worse than that....Please Mr Custer- I don't wanna go.

And there's More

michduncg · Post by **michduncg** » Thu Sep 07, 2006 12:32 am

Golly - not had the chance to get on here for a long time! Combination of work and a addiction to Microsoft Flight Simulator! Ho hum - anyone miss me?

WELL - Bad songs! Where to start! As a child we had Barbara Streissand singing 'I'm five! I'm five! (I'm a big girl now I'm five)' OK - so it was a novelty record, maybe it wasn't supposed to be serious. You could say they same for Timmy Mallets diabolical remake of 'Itsy beeny teeny weeny yellow polka dot bikini', but given that it was around at the same time as Sonia was singing 'Counting every single minute', you'd be hard pushed to decide which one would make you scream running from the room faster! Actually, I have a soft spot for Sonia, probably due to French and Saunders mickey taking and her cheeky Scouseness!

My Mum has always had to leave the room if Connie Frances happens to come on (not a frequent occurence these days) but I think thats a bit harsh! Although I do think 'Where the boys are' is one of the most morose songs ever sung. Talking of morose, how about 'Honey' by Bobby Goldsborough, and if death discs are your thing then who how about 'Ebony Eyes' by the Everley Brothers, complete with angelic choir over the 'spoken bit where Don (or was it Phil) goes into ask the airline clerk where his beloved's flight is, before the loudspeaker announcement asks all those with relatives on flight 53 to report to the chapel across the street. Hmmm - thats subtlety for you Nashville style

I am surprised that no-one has mentioned St Winifreds School Choir and their 'I'm only a poor little sparrow' as a bad record, but I suppose it had a certain charm! But what abouut Cilve Dunns 'Grandad'? Or the Goodies 'Funky Gibbon'. Or 'Fancy Pants' by Kenny? Bill Wyman's song 'Je suis un rock star' was a truly awful piece of early 80s pap, and just shows why he was never the lead singer in Rolling Stones!

I have to say though, and I hope I am not about to upset any of the older crowd, but why did anyone, with or without a heart, every buy a Cilla Black record? Seriously, if you had a choice of hearing Dionne Warwick singing 'Anyone who had a heart' with her lovely honey smoth voice, why would you want to listen to a version that sounds like an animal is dying on it - sorry that was Cilla reaching the high notes! And compare Chers film soundtrack tune of Alfie (and she is not the most gifted of lyricists!), to Cillas - more smoothness v screeching!You can actually hear the lyrics of Alfie when Cher sings it, which is important because they tell a story. I think I am on failry safe greound criticising her on a site dedicated to a true lyricist. But I'll stop short of criticising Cliff Richard, and some of his songs. Cos I actually quit elike him!

Don't stop me now - I'm on a roll! Anyone remember that hyper-annoying 80s ditty - 'Don't mess with my toot toot!' - with the immortal lines 'When I was in my birth suit, the doctor slapped my behind, he says you're going to be special, my sweet little toot toot!'. Hmm - actually it kind of makes sense when you right it down!

But I have to disagree with YMCA! I have been dancing to that at church discos; weddings, work functions, holiday bars and gay bars since about 1977! It is part of every night out, and even today in any town fiull of students or older folk, they will play that back to back with 'I'm in the mood for dancing' by the Nolans! I would also query the Sugarbabes appearance but would have no hesitiation in raising James bleeding Blunt and any of his songs as prospective candiates!

What a fantastic thread tho Hilary - I'll keep a pad next to my bed in case I think of any more!