I love these merry though unmelodic computer refrains,
courtesy of Ed, and not just because my computer doesn't
always dance to my discordant tune:
TRIALS of the TECHNOPHOBES
(harshly, PARADE of the TECHNOPRATS)
Tech Support: 'What kind of computer do you have?'
Customer: 'A white one.'
Tech Support: 'Good day, how can I help you?'
Male customer: 'Hello, I can't print.'
Tech Support: 'Would you click on 'start' for me and ...
Male customer: 'Listen pal, don't get technical with me.
I'm not Bill Gates.'
Customer: 'I have problems printing in red.'
Tech Support: 'Do you have a colour printer?'
Customer: 'Aaaah ... Thank you.'
Tech Support: 'What's on your monitor now?'
Customer: 'A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me at the 7-11.'
Customer: 'I can't get on the internet.'
Tech Support: 'Are you sure you used the right password?'
Customer; 'Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.'
Tech Support: 'Can you tell me what the password was?'
Customer: 'Five dots.'
Tech Support: 'How may I help you?'
Customer: 'I'm writing my first email.'
Tech Support: 'Okay, what seems to be the problem?'
Customer: 'Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address,
but how do I put the little circle round it?'
A woman customer called the Canon help desk
about a problem with her printer.
Tech Support: 'Are you running it under Windows?'
Customer: 'No my desk is near the door but you make a good point;
the man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window,
and his printer is working fine.'
And last but not least:
Tech Support: 'Okay Bob, let's press the control and escape keys
at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen.
Now type the letter 'p' to bring up the programme manager.'
Customer: 'I don't have a 'P'.
Tech Support: 'On your keyboard, Bob.'
Customer: 'What do you mean?'
Tech Support: ''P' ... on your keyboard, Bob.'
Customer: 'I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT!'
Keith
