AUTHORS' ANNEXE (English Language Discussions)
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Lena & Harry Smith
- Posts: 21514
- Joined: Tue Jul 12, 2005 10:05 am
- Location: London UK
We agree with you Marian 100 per cent. No doubt we have also made grammar and spelling mistakes, but does it matter. ? obviously not. It hasn't halted or prevented communication on this forum that has been continuously vibrant for nearly Three years, and our Robert's been very kind and lenient to us all lately.
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Lena & Harry Smith
- Posts: 21514
- Joined: Tue Jul 12, 2005 10:05 am
- Location: London UK
It looks like it Marian, but here is an interesting article in our morning newspaper.
Barmey council chiefs have banned a cabbie from working, because he can't use apostrophes, even though he had held a licence for Six years, but had now expired. The cabbie failed a grammar exam that he had to take before he could apply for a private hire licence.
It's meant to weed out foreign drivers who can't speak English.
The cabbie only got 60 percent of the questions correct, and a pass was 70.
He now has to go on a GCSE English course before he can re-apply.
The Bournemouth Council licensing chief said... it allows us to assess candidates abilities.
This was all because the cabbie couldn't use apostrophes.
Barmey council chiefs have banned a cabbie from working, because he can't use apostrophes, even though he had held a licence for Six years, but had now expired. The cabbie failed a grammar exam that he had to take before he could apply for a private hire licence.
It's meant to weed out foreign drivers who can't speak English.
The cabbie only got 60 percent of the questions correct, and a pass was 70.
He now has to go on a GCSE English course before he can re-apply.
The Bournemouth Council licensing chief said... it allows us to assess candidates abilities.
This was all because the cabbie couldn't use apostrophes.
On that same line. my brother in law Geoff, while by no means being illiterate, is not very good on grammar, even worse on spelling---yet he has managed over the years to single-handedly build up a successful haulage business, with now a total of 5 lorries, and doing all the admin work himself--along with driving one of the lorries himself.
Mariana
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Lena & Harry Smith
- Posts: 21514
- Joined: Tue Jul 12, 2005 10:05 am
- Location: London UK
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keithgood838
- Posts: 2478
- Joined: Sun Feb 10, 2008 6:30 pm
Hi Lena & Harry
I'm grateful to the Forum for letting me test my theory
that linguistics can be fun as well as enlightening. God knows
I have made many literacy errors myself in the past
and will probably do so again. I hope I am not coming across
as some holier-than-thou preacher. The people for whom I have
the greatest respect are builders, believe it or not. We are
having home improvements done currently (I am useless at
d.i.y.) and I am just in awe of the rapid creative work those guys
produce, and which we tend to take for granted. A little story
'along those lines'.
THE LITERARY LABOURER
Paddy applied for work on a building site.
'Do you know the difference between
a girder and a joist?' asked the foreman.
Paddy contemplated the question.
'No, but I know Goethe wrote Faust
and Joyce wrote Ulysses,' came the reply.
Predictably, Paddy's job application was unsuccessful.
Keith
I'm grateful to the Forum for letting me test my theory
that linguistics can be fun as well as enlightening. God knows
I have made many literacy errors myself in the past
and will probably do so again. I hope I am not coming across
as some holier-than-thou preacher. The people for whom I have
the greatest respect are builders, believe it or not. We are
having home improvements done currently (I am useless at
d.i.y.) and I am just in awe of the rapid creative work those guys
produce, and which we tend to take for granted. A little story
'along those lines'.
THE LITERARY LABOURER
Paddy applied for work on a building site.
'Do you know the difference between
a girder and a joist?' asked the foreman.
Paddy contemplated the question.
'No, but I know Goethe wrote Faust
and Joyce wrote Ulysses,' came the reply.
Predictably, Paddy's job application was unsuccessful.
Keith
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Lena & Harry Smith
- Posts: 21514
- Joined: Tue Jul 12, 2005 10:05 am
- Location: London UK
Keith, of course linguistics can be fun and enlightening , and your contributions are received, obviously enjoyed and acknowledged by the enthusiastic replies and feedback that you get. You are certainly not coming across as a holier than thou preacher. 
In any case Keith, once you've been round the block a few times,
particularly in our case, and you've sat back and thought long and hard about priorities, we take most things with a pinch of salt....and a smile. specially when you've just spelled Winston wrong.
The Paddy joke reminded me of my Grandfather who was Irish.
He apparently had taken to a drop of Guiness after being told that it gives you strength, but he wasn't convinced,... after drinking Eight pints of it he couldn't stand. BOOM BOOM!!
In any case Keith, once you've been round the block a few times,
particularly in our case, and you've sat back and thought long and hard about priorities, we take most things with a pinch of salt....and a smile. specially when you've just spelled Winston wrong. The Paddy joke reminded me of my Grandfather who was Irish.
He apparently had taken to a drop of Guiness after being told that it gives you strength, but he wasn't convinced,... after drinking Eight pints of it he couldn't stand. BOOM BOOM!!
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keithgood838
- Posts: 2478
- Joined: Sun Feb 10, 2008 6:30 pm
Hi Lena and Harry,
Referring to Guinness (the blonde in the black dress;
the vicar in the white collar), I know the saying
'one over the eight'. Here is a verse I wrote about a time
when Ireland was a lot less ecu-menical than it is now:
A VILLAGE VIGNETTE
(of West Cork in Yesteryear)
Three Protestant ladies on a Sunday stroll
were hit by a cloudburst of rain
and the Catholic church was the nearest refuge
(from the deluge) they could gain.
The chivalrous priest, interrupting his Mass,
urged, 'Three chairs for the ladies, please.'
His server, mishearing, exhorted the flock:
'Three cheers for the Protestant ladies!'
Keith
Referring to Guinness (the blonde in the black dress;
the vicar in the white collar), I know the saying
'one over the eight'. Here is a verse I wrote about a time
when Ireland was a lot less ecu-menical than it is now:
A VILLAGE VIGNETTE
(of West Cork in Yesteryear)
Three Protestant ladies on a Sunday stroll
were hit by a cloudburst of rain
and the Catholic church was the nearest refuge
(from the deluge) they could gain.
The chivalrous priest, interrupting his Mass,
urged, 'Three chairs for the ladies, please.'
His server, mishearing, exhorted the flock:
'Three cheers for the Protestant ladies!'
Keith
Last edited by keithgood838 on Sun Jun 01, 2008 6:50 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Here is George's contribution to this discussion-I'm sure he would love to be actively joining in---
My late husband George was always interested in grammar, language and spelling etc. However as his schooldays were in the 1920’s, his education was not good, moreover his mother was always moving, and he changed schools many times—added to which he was left handed, and at every school he had to start learning again, and was forced to write with his right hand. It was very traumatic, and they would not allow that these days’
He was fascinated by Palindromes—especially his favourite which was “A Man, A Plan, A Canal, Panamaâ€â€”which he described as a short story!!
He learned to speak German during the war, and in fact his first wife was Austrian and his 2 children were born in Austria. He became very fluent in German, and he picked up Italian too. He had a talent for accents, and could immediately change to a foreign accent, or a regional accent...
He always said that English was the hardest language to learn, and loved to quote these words that added to his theory
BOUGH [ow] COUGH [off] DOUGH [doe] TOUGH tuff] THROUGH [oo]
All with the last 4 letters, but sounding different.
His favourite story was of the foreign student, who came to London to see a West End Musical, and at the same time improve his English. However, when he arrived in London and was faced with huge signs everywhere saying
“ “OKLAHOMA “—PRONOUNCED SUCCESS “ he threw all his books away in despair!!
The unfortunate student, then decided to take a tube ride---and when the guard shouted “LOOK OUT !! TUNNEL AHEADâ€---the student opened the window-and looked out. Needless to say, he went home with a severe headache.
I can not tell them like George could, but they always made me smile
My late husband George was always interested in grammar, language and spelling etc. However as his schooldays were in the 1920’s, his education was not good, moreover his mother was always moving, and he changed schools many times—added to which he was left handed, and at every school he had to start learning again, and was forced to write with his right hand. It was very traumatic, and they would not allow that these days’
He was fascinated by Palindromes—especially his favourite which was “A Man, A Plan, A Canal, Panamaâ€â€”which he described as a short story!!
He learned to speak German during the war, and in fact his first wife was Austrian and his 2 children were born in Austria. He became very fluent in German, and he picked up Italian too. He had a talent for accents, and could immediately change to a foreign accent, or a regional accent...
He always said that English was the hardest language to learn, and loved to quote these words that added to his theory
BOUGH [ow] COUGH [off] DOUGH [doe] TOUGH tuff] THROUGH [oo]
All with the last 4 letters, but sounding different.
His favourite story was of the foreign student, who came to London to see a West End Musical, and at the same time improve his English. However, when he arrived in London and was faced with huge signs everywhere saying
“ “OKLAHOMA “—PRONOUNCED SUCCESS “ he threw all his books away in despair!!
The unfortunate student, then decided to take a tube ride---and when the guard shouted “LOOK OUT !! TUNNEL AHEADâ€---the student opened the window-and looked out. Needless to say, he went home with a severe headache.
I can not tell them like George could, but they always made me smile
Last edited by mariana44 on Sun Jun 01, 2008 5:54 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Mariana
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keithgood838
- Posts: 2478
- Joined: Sun Feb 10, 2008 6:30 pm
Hi Marian(a)
Thanks for that one, I thought I had heard all the Irishman
jokes; it is very funny. I wonder if Matt ever toured the ould
country; they would have loved him. He had all the qualities
that would have made him compatible: down-to earth; great
sense of humour; a good talker; unpretentious and
needless to say, a super singer. I had the following published
in an Irish magazine recently:
DIVINE INTERVENTION
Devout Mary Kelly was working alone
at St Mary's, doing the cleaning,
when in the church hall the telephone bell
rang shrilly, and kept on ringing.
Desirous to help Mary dashed to the phone
and with curiosity peaking
said: 'Hello, this is St Mary's church
and this is Mary speaking.'
Keith
Thanks for that one, I thought I had heard all the Irishman
jokes; it is very funny. I wonder if Matt ever toured the ould
country; they would have loved him. He had all the qualities
that would have made him compatible: down-to earth; great
sense of humour; a good talker; unpretentious and
needless to say, a super singer. I had the following published
in an Irish magazine recently:
DIVINE INTERVENTION
Devout Mary Kelly was working alone
at St Mary's, doing the cleaning,
when in the church hall the telephone bell
rang shrilly, and kept on ringing.
Desirous to help Mary dashed to the phone
and with curiosity peaking
said: 'Hello, this is St Mary's church
and this is Mary speaking.'
Keith
Last edited by keithgood838 on Sat Jun 14, 2008 11:50 am, edited 2 times in total.
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keithgood838
- Posts: 2478
- Joined: Sun Feb 10, 2008 6:30 pm
Hello All
I certainly don't think the occasional spelling or grammar mistake detracts from the enjoyment of posts on this forum and in fact everyone here comes across as quite literate and articulate. And I agree that denying someone a job simply through not being able to use apostrophes in a line of work like taxi-driving is a bit ridiculous.
While a stickler for correct English myself, I have some sympathy with the view that we've become a little too obsessed as a society with formal academic qualifications as this has helped to produce a national skills shortage, and too many people now leave the education system with meaningless pieces of paper from third rate universities which do not equip them for the world of work. Or, as a graduate of a top tier university, am I just being elitist in wanting to deny others the opportunities that I had myself?
I certainly don't think the occasional spelling or grammar mistake detracts from the enjoyment of posts on this forum and in fact everyone here comes across as quite literate and articulate. And I agree that denying someone a job simply through not being able to use apostrophes in a line of work like taxi-driving is a bit ridiculous.
While a stickler for correct English myself, I have some sympathy with the view that we've become a little too obsessed as a society with formal academic qualifications as this has helped to produce a national skills shortage, and too many people now leave the education system with meaningless pieces of paper from third rate universities which do not equip them for the world of work. Or, as a graduate of a top tier university, am I just being elitist in wanting to deny others the opportunities that I had myself?