POEMS - With Tongue In Cheek

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ROBERT M.
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Re: POEMS - With Tongue In Cheek

Post by ROBERT M. » Wed Jul 21, 2010 10:10 pm

:) :)

On the first day, God created the dog and said:

'Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years.'

The dog said: 'That's a long time to be barking. How about only ten years and I'll give you back the other ten?'

So God agreed.

On the second day, God created the monkey and said:

'Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh. For this, I'll give you a twenty-year life span.'

The monkey said: 'Monkey tricks for twenty years? That's a pretty long time to perform. How about I give you back ten like the Dog did?'

And God agreed.

On the third day, God created the cow and said:

'You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer's family. For this, I will give you a life span of sixty years.'

The cow said: 'That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years.. How about twenty and I'll give back the other forty?'

And God agreed again.

On the fourth day, God created humans and said:

'Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For this, I'll give you twenty years.'

But the human said: 'Only twenty years? Could you possibly give me my twenty, the forty the cow gave back, the ten the monkey gave back, and the ten the dog gave back; that makes eighty, okay?'

'Okay,' said God, 'You asked for it.'

So that is why for our first twenty years we eat, sleep, play and enjoy ourselves. For the next forty years we slave in the sun to support our family.. For the next ten years we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren.. And for the last ten years we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone.

Life has now been explained to you.
"My Tears Will Fall Now That You're Gone,
I Can't Help But Cry, But I Must Go On" :(

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keithgood838
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Re: POEMS - With Tongue In Cheek

Post by keithgood838 » Mon Jul 26, 2010 7:40 pm

As an avowed ecumenist I was moved to write
this verse following a burial service I attended:

FUNERAL FAITHS

The Catholic priest with a welcoming word
for the mourners row upon row:
'If you're not of this church do not despair,' said he,
'your prayer will be heard,
maybe more so.'

Keith Good

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ROBERT M.
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Location: Yorkshire, England

Re: POEMS - With Tongue In Cheek

Post by ROBERT M. » Tue Jul 27, 2010 10:50 pm

That was nice Keith :) ...........I think I put the previous joke in the wrong place :wink:
"My Tears Will Fall Now That You're Gone,
I Can't Help But Cry, But I Must Go On" :(

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keithgood838
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Re: POEMS - With Tongue In Cheek

Post by keithgood838 » Thu Jul 29, 2010 9:42 am

Thanks Robert, yours is a free-verse narrative poem
on the meaning of life - I merely maintained
the Almighty motif. :wink:
PS I love Mmmm alliteration, don't you?
Eg Matt Monro's music. :!: :)

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keithgood838
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Re: POEMS - With Tongue In Cheek

Post by keithgood838 » Sat Jul 31, 2010 9:34 am

The following is an adaptation of the song
Once In A While by Michael Edwards with
lyrics by Bud Green:

OFTEN AWHILE
(an affirmation to Matt Monro)

We give more than one thought to you,
there is no one else who
has won our heart.
Often awhile we remember the moments
we shared with you
ere Atropos tried to prise us apart.

In love's glowing-red embers
sparked flashbacks remain,
the warmed heart then remembers
as the fire flares again.

Be sure that we'll
be on cloud nine with your music legacy;
we're winged to ecstasy
often awhile ...

Keith Good

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Lena & Harry Smith
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Re: POEMS - With Tongue In Cheek

Post by Lena & Harry Smith » Sat Jul 31, 2010 1:41 pm

Lovely Keith, and don't those Once In A while's come frequent for us lovers of Matt's music. :)

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keithgood838
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Re: POEMS - With Tongue In Cheek

Post by keithgood838 » Sun Aug 01, 2010 10:08 am

Hi Lena & Harry. Whenever I launch a newly crafted verse
on an unsuspecting world, I do so with the accompanying prayer,
'Please God, let it float.' Therefore thanks for giving Often Awhile
your certificate of seaworthiness.
I listened with rapt attention to Michele's Middlesbrough
radio interview in which she mentioned (including Marian's
honourable one) the possibility of a Richard Moore remastered
Matt Monro Sings Hoagy Carmichael being released next year.
I think that album is the large cut diamond in Matt's bejewelled
recording career. So maybe we shall have some more 'often awhiles'
we can look forward to. Isn't life grand?
Keith

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Lena & Harry Smith
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Location: London UK

Re: POEMS - With Tongue In Cheek

Post by Lena & Harry Smith » Sun Aug 01, 2010 9:58 pm

Life is grand Keith, and made richer by the brilliance of composers like Hoagy Carmichael, considered by many as the most talented and gifted of them all.
We can look forward. !!!

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keithgood838
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Re: POEMS - With Tongue In Cheek

Post by keithgood838 » Wed Aug 04, 2010 11:54 am

HARDBACK HAPPINESS

Bedeck with bunting! Fly the Monro flag!
To mark Michele's tome performing so well.
Fifth reprint, book-of-month and interviews
at which she weaves ev'ry Matt Monro spell.
Responding to the media overtures
means no recourse to publishing hard sell;
the key is having, Michele will agree,
a blinding biographic tale to tell.

:D
Last edited by keithgood838 on Wed Aug 04, 2010 7:56 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Marian
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Re: POEMS - With Tongue In Cheek

Post by Marian » Wed Aug 04, 2010 1:12 pm

Another well deserved accolade for Michele Keith! However, I think you might need to change Fourth reprint to Fifth though, as mentioned by Michele on her interview on Radio Jersey on Monday. :D :D

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keithgood838
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Re: POEMS - With Tongue In Cheek

Post by keithgood838 » Wed Aug 04, 2010 8:00 pm

REVISION RAPTURE

Never has there been
a more meaningful emendation;
Marian, thank you! I must say
Michele's success accumulation
fills this old heart
with joyful approbation.

Keith :D

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keithgood838
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Re: POEMS - With Tongue In Cheek

Post by keithgood838 » Thu Aug 12, 2010 7:06 pm

As a curtain-raiser to the Ryder Cup clash
at Celtic Manor in Wales next month,
the Eltham/Irish Golf Society will contest
the Courtmacsherry Sheild [sic] on the lush
landscapes of West Cork. :wink:
If you have not succumbed to the enigmatic
charms of the game of golf you may, as they say,
prefer to look away now:

FLIGHT OF FANCY

Perched expectantly on a peg,
the ball rounds off the form
of a Borrowers' hot-air balloon
primed ready to fly.
Then it blasts off and soars,
now a disappearing dot
against the great dome of sky,
and lands on its targeted spot,
finding a re-launch lie ...

Keith Good
Last edited by keithgood838 on Wed Aug 25, 2010 2:49 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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keithgood838
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Re: POEMS - With Tongue In Cheek

Post by keithgood838 » Thu Aug 19, 2010 12:32 pm

The following is a verse memoir from my idyllic childhood
in West Cork, circa 1947. My mother was expecting
an esteemed guest for afternoon tea; consequently I was
charged with the task of purchasing a packet of Kimberley
biscuits: sugar-coated marshmallow filling in a chocolatey
medallion-size sandwich - scrumptious but scarce.
This forum's erudite membership will note that James Joyce
dispensed with inverted commas when writing dialogue,
preferring instead to introduce it in dashing yet sparing style:

BLANCHFIELDS' SHOP

The occasion itself decreed
it be marked with a treat,
so off on my agreeable errand
I dutifully went.
I became a juvenile Leopold Bloom
on an odyssey that took me along
every Bandon street, to Phelan's,
J.P. Deasy's, John Good's, Jeffers,
O'Leary's, Brennan's, over the bridge
to Lee's, O'Reilly's, and had not one ha-penny
spent, when in hope born of despair,
I called into Blanchfields'
as home in Ballymodan Place drew near.

Eureka!

Awash with a sense of saved mission
surging through me, and in childish innocence,
I blurted: - Miss Blanchfield, I tried every store
in the town for those biscuits, but I got no joy.
- Sometimes, she patiently replied,
- we are blind to the worthwhile things
on our doorstep, doughty boy!

Keith Good

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keithgood838
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Re: POEMS - With Tongue In Cheek

Post by keithgood838 » Mon Aug 30, 2010 7:16 pm

In the shadow of cricket's current match-fixing allegations,
Sir Henry Newbolt will be hopping mad in his heavenly abode.
His poem, hereunder, mourns the tragedy of war through
schoolboy cricket. He was dismayed when his meaningful
lines were used as propaganda:

VITAI LAMPADA

There's a breathless hush in the close tonight -
Ten to make and a match to win -
A bumping pitch and a blinding light,
An hour to play and the last man in.
And it's not for the sake of a ribboned coat,
Or the selfish hope of a season's fame.
But his Captain's hand on his shoulder smote
'Play up! Play up! And play the game!'

The sand of the desert is sodden red -
Red with the wreck of a square that broke -
The Gatling's jammed and the colonel dead
And the regiment blind with dust and smoke.
The river of death has brimmed his banks,
And England's far, and Honour a name.
But the voice of a schoolboy rallies the ranks,
'Play up! Play up! And play the game!'

This is the word that year by year
While in her place the School is set,
Every one of her sons must hear,
and none that hears it dare forget.
This they all with joyful mind
Bear through life like a torch in flame,
And falling fling to the host behind,
'Play up! Play up! And play the game!'

Sir Henry Newbolt (1862-1938)

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keithgood838
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Re: POEMS - With Tongue In Cheek

Post by keithgood838 » Fri Sep 24, 2010 6:02 pm

I returned late on Monday evening from a glorious golfing break
in West Cork only to be welcomed home by a three-day
internet disconnection. However, under the guiding hand
of a BT adviser operating from India, normal service has been
restored. It gives a whole new meaning to the phrase, remote control.
Happily, being able to post the following Matt Monro inspired
song adaptation is the perfect antidote to my broadband blues:

BEYOND THE HILL
(adapted from the song by Vic Lewis
and Don Black)


Beyond the hill there lies some land,
love-steeped landscapes whereon
our home will stand;
and when we walk beyond the hill
our eyes will dilate with delight at the idyll.

Through tears-moved mists we'll see lost loves
all come and go,
then greet backstage with glee our hero Matt Monro ...
No Eden will be ours until
we find the home that lies somewhere
beyond the hill.

Keith Good

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