Today's Joke

[keithgood838]

INJURIOUS INFLATION

A young player went for a round of golf
accompanied by a girl from work he had
taken a shine to.
Before teeing-off he bought two golf
balls in the pro shop and slipped them
into his trouser pocket.
The young lady couldn't help staring at
the rounded bulge:
'It's only golf balls,' he volunteered.
'Oh, I'm sorry,' she twittered guilelessly,
'is that something like tennis elbow?'

[ROBERT M.]

good one Keith, to give us a smile on a very bad news day.

[Lena & Harry Smith]

Yes, i'll second that.. Thanks Keith

[keithgood838]

Thanks Robert, Lena and Harry.
I often wondered which of you droll
duo did most of the posting.
Welcome back from your little indisposition, Lena.

LEARNER'S LAMENT

'I'd move heaven and earth
to break 100,' puffed the rookie
golfer as he thrashed away
at the ball in deep rough.
'Try heaven,' advised his playing partner.
'I think you've already moved enough earth.'

[Marian]

Another good one Keith. Keep them coming to brighten our days. Your poetry too

[Gray]

These are brilliant, Keith.

Really made me chuckle!

[keithgood838]

How about an 'irreverent' verse, Marian and Gray?

DOUBLESPEAK DELIVERANCE

Bishops can't commit cardinal sins,
that would be pulling rank;
and have for lesser indisciplines
clerical errors to thank.

[Gray]

Very clever, Keith

[keithgood838]

Don't mention it, Gray; it only encourages me.

Save Our Silver

A quote from poet Ralph Waldo Emerson
on parliamentary buffoons:
'The louder he spoke of his honour,
the faster we counted the spoons.'




AGENTS OF AVARICE

As for that bailed-out, discredited clique
who by word and deed failed to thank us;
some words this refined forum will not speak
but we know the one that rhymes with bankers.

[keithgood838]

THE LOSS OF THE NICE LITTLE EARNER
(with apologies to Edward Lear)

The Press and The Met Police
went to sea in a cosily corrupt boat;
they enjoyed milk and honey
took backhander money
and influenced how folk might vote.
Then their boat hit a rock,
now they are in the dock
and their rigger's no longer afloat.

[Marian]

Great Keith, as well as being very true!

[Gray]

Very good , Keith

[keithgood838]

Hi Marian and Gray. I didn't know I could write
satirical verse (some would say I still can't)
until I joined this forum. Isn't life grand?
Just like this forum. Here's another topical tease:

GROWING PAINS

Was Doc Osborne's prescription for deficit ills
decreed by diagnostic mistake?
Too severe surgery increases welfare bills
while reducing the total tax take.
So recovery bumps at snail pace on the floor,
and we end up borrowing more ...

[karl]

Hi Marian and Gray. I didn't know I could write
satirical verse (some would say I still can't)
until I joined this forum. Isn't life grand?
Just like this forum. Here's another topical tease:

GROWING PAINS

Was Doc Osborne's prescription for deficit ills
decreed by diagnostic mistake?
Too severe surgery increases welfare bills
while reducing the total tax take.
So recovery bumps at snail pace on the floor,
and we end up borrowing more ...

Keith have you ever had anything published? I ask as a former colleague of mine also wrote poetry and she had something published a few years back.

Also which country are you from?

[Gray]

"Growing Pains" also made me smile, Keith.
Your creativity shows no signs of slowing up.