A skeleton enters a bar and orders a pint,
and a mop.
A horse enters a bar and the barman says,
'Why the long face?'
David Hasselhoff walks into a bar and says to the barman,
'I want you to call me David Hoff.'
The barman replies,
'Sure thing, Dave ...no hassle.'
John (not the John of this parish) was sitting outside
his local enjoying a pint when a passing nun berates
him on the evils of alcohol.
'You should be ashamed of yourself young man,
drinking is a sin, and alcohol is the devil's blood.'
John takes umbrage at this outburst, and goes on the offensive:
'How do you know this, Sister?'
'My Mother Superior told me.'
'But have you ever actually ever had a drink, yourself?'
'Don't be ridiculous, of course I've never let it pass my lips.'
'Then let me buy you one and if, afterwards, you still believe
it is such a scourge, I will give it up for life.'
The nun replies indignantly, 'How could I, a nun, sit outside
a public house drinking?'
John replies, 'Don't worry, I'll ask the barman to put yours
in a cup, then no one will ever know.'
He enters the pub again and says to the barman,
'Another pint for me and a triple vodka on the rocks,'
then he lowers his voice to a whisper. 'And could you put
the vodka in a cup.'
'Oh no,' the barman exclaims, 'it's that nun again!'
Keith
