Today's Joke

[Marian]

[keithgood838]

Hi Marian
Anagrams, like nominative determinism (where a person's
name matches their occupation), have an uncanny quality.
Viz the following:

ANAGRAM

Stonehenge, the World Heritage Site at Salisbury =
Truly eerie, as in: 'How'd those giant slabs get there?'



I rest my case - ooh, that's better.

[maxine]

[keithgood838]

Hi Maxine. I thought about posting the following on the
poetry thread but in the end I decided it is a joke:

SUBSIDY SATIRE

On employers who profit from poverty wages
billions in tax credits are spent;
to landlords go vast sums in housing benefit
so they can charge excessive rent;
yet we don't subsidise the disabled's spare room
needed for essential equipment.

Keith Good

[maxine]

How absolutely true Keith .... ......

[ROBERT M.]

Hi Maxine. I thought about posting the following on the
poetry thread but in the end I decided it is a joke:

SUBSIDY SATIRE


yet we don't subsidise the disabled's spare room
needed for essential equipment.

Keith Good

Can anyone let the Conservatives know this too please .....................

[keithgood838]

Hi Maxine and Robert. I guess what is needed is a Ministry for
Unintended Consequences. I hope this will make you giggle.

UNTIMELY UPHEAVAL

A husband and wife are awakened at three a.m. by an insistent pounding
on their front door. The husband, muttering darkly, drags his disoriented
body downstairs and finds a drunken stranger swaying in the pouring rain,
and asking for a push.
'Not a chance,' hollers the crotchety husband, 'it's three in the morning!'
He slams the door and returns to the womb-like security of his warm bed.
'Who was it?' enquires his curiosity-aroused missus.
'Just some drunk guy asking for a push.'
'Did you help him?'
'Not likely; it's three a.m. and sheeting down.'
'Well, you have a short memory,' his wife sternly admonishes him.
'Don't you remember about three months ago when our car broke down
and two public-spirited guys helped us? God loves everyone including drunks.'
Suitably contrite the husband relents, gets dressed and ventures out into
the dripping darkness. He calls out: 'Are you still there?'
'Yes.'
'Do you still want a push?'
'Yes please,' came the grateful reply.
'Where are you?'
'Over here on the swing.'

[ROBERT M.]

LOL on the punch line Keith

[keithgood838]

IN THE LAP OF THE GODS

Maybe the FA's most prestigious prize
will feature a Corkman from Rochestown Rise.
The football gods will decide whether Hull
are smiled on or whether it is Arsenal;
should the betting foresee Hull City's fate
they have Europe next season to compensate.



Good luck to the Tigers tomorrow, Robert.

[maxine]

Keith....and Come on HULL!!!!! ....I will be watching a football match with Hubby ...makes a change ......if they win...I will cry ...and if they lose I will cry ....Here's to Hull Robert!

[ROBERT M.]

Thank's for the good wishes Keith and Maxine ...........we need all the help we can get ..............this is our first ever FA Cup final and our first ever venture into European competition next season

[keithgood838]

AGONY & ECSTASY

Like the pet cat that saw off the dangerous dog in America,
Hull City tore into their stronger opponents
and plunged our FA Cup party into stupefied silence;
seeds of doubt were sown that there may be no victory celebration
as the Gunners succumbed to their predisposition to premature capitulation;
we Arsenal supporters pay a heavy price for our devotion
in perversely enjoyable shredding of nerves and stretched-to-breaking point emotion.
I think that equal unqualified acclamation should go
to the protagonists of this unscripted, pulsatingly dramatic sporting show.

[maxine]

Very well expressed Keith ...i share your sentiment ...and very honourable

[Lena & Harry Smith]

Cup Finals rarely live up to the build up and hype that comes with this event but it was a great match and Hull's unexpected early goal certainly woke the opposition up.
Shame for Robert, Hull played their hearts out, but we were pleased for Arsenal and for Arsene Wenger.

[ROBERT M.]

Hull City scored the two quickest goals in Cup Final history ................so close to going to penalties, but class told in the end (could see the winning goal coming)...................exciting game though ........................so close yet so far away