Today's Joke

[Marian]

Keith I'm sure many of us hope you will return full time as it were.
We miss your postings and your poetry.

[keithgood838]

Marian, it's my delight especially to post Ed's unlimited
store of jokes, his cornucopia of comedy, as I have referred
to it previously. They give me the opportunity to
practise writing prose with dialogue. I'm sure we are
grateful to Ed for keeping us all chuckling away.
As I always say: a laugh day keeps the blues at bay.
Here's another from Ed's humorous treasury:

MULTIPLE MINISTERING

A former parishioner bumped into Father Flaherty on O'Connell Street
in Dublin.
'Ah, 'tis yourself Mrs Donovan,' he informed her in cheerful greeting,
'didn't I marry yourself and your husband two years ago?'
'Indeed you did, Father,' she grinned.
'Are there any little Donovans yet?'
'No, not yet Father.'
'Sure I'm going to Rome next week, I'll light a candle for you
and your husband.'
'Thank you Father,' she smiled sweetly as they went their separate ways.
Some years later their paths crossed again. The priest enquired:
'Hello, Mrs Donovan, how are you? Have you had any little ones yet?'
'Indeed I have Father, two sets of twins and six siblings, ten in all.'
'Isn't that wonderful,' beamed Father Flaherty,
'and how is your husband?'
'He's gone to Rome, Father,
to blow out your feckin' candle!'

Keith

[ROBERT M.]

You haven't posted for a while Keith............I know Don put his tupence worth in again the other day, but don't let one member's remarks put you off posting your poetic verse......... and Ed's funny jokes...........we miss them, and we miss you................saw you in the photo with Michele at the book signing

[Don Cooper]

Okay,Robert. The title of the thread was Poems-tongue in cheek. I was, and remain, mystified as what precisely Keith's post intended to refer to ?

Can you perhaps enlighten me?

(btw it was tuppence worth. If you are going to bring up the rear, ensure you help rather than hinder-as i'm sure the formerly ubiquitous Keith would counsel...)

Don

p.s. Hope the Cork/Yorkshireman gag isn't smarting with thee?

[ROBERT M.]

Don, I wasn't having a go at you, but it was your comment(s) for Keith's present lack of activity on here.................but I also look forward to reading your (sometimes baffling) remarks too

[Marian]

Goodnight Don and Robert...I'll leave you to it!!

[ROBERT M.]

Goodnight Marian.

[Don Cooper]

You may recall, Robert, that Keith admonished me with the phrase "Grow Up" during the course of what I initiated as a tongue-in-cheek wordplay encounter. Are you seriously propounding that this literary conjuror requires hand-leading back to the playground ?

Today's Joke? Laugh? I nearly started.

Don

p.s. I actually knew precisely what Keith's Poems post alluded to. He appears to be licking his wounds - I remain unscathed.
Cork Men-all mouth and trousers...

[keithgood838]

Robert, I am pleased to report that the Ed Harrod conveyor belt
of comedy has clicked back into what I trust will be uninterrupted
production:

SPIRITUAL SUSTENANCE

Paddy's God-fearing conscience finally gets the better of him
and following a long lapse in attendances he enters the confessional.
He is agreeably surprised to find therein a minibar in which his favourite
Jameson tipple is prominently displayed. On the opposite wall is an
assortment of chocolates and other mouthwatering comestibles.
Paddy's gaze of wistful longing is jolted back to the business in hand
upon the arrival of the priest.
'Forgive me Father,' he ventures, getting in a prefatory plea,
'but it's been a while since I've been to confession. The box
is rather different from how I remember it.'
'Get out of here,' thunders the priest.
'This is my side!'

Keith

TOPICAL POSTSCRIPT ANECDOTE

The late comedy actor Kenneth Williams was the author
at a book-signing appearance when an elderly lady approached
and thrust a copy of his book into his hands:
'Who shall I sign it to?'
he enquired politely.
'Alma Chiset,' she muttered.
Kenneth proceeded to write Alma, then hesitated:
'How do you spell Chiset?'
Came the exasperated reply:
'No, ah much is it?'

[mariana44]

Thank goodness-a smile to brighten a dreary day !!!

Although the second one I have heard before--many years ago, in an autobiography by Monica Dickens, in which a similar thing happened-she was asked to sign a book, and dutifully signed it for "Emma Chisit", until she was told otherwise !!!!

I guess Kenneth Williams could have had the same experience.

PS Monica was in Australia at the time.

[keithgood838]

Hi Mariana
I was relating the story I remember Kenneth Williams
telling on television; however I must have misremembered
it as having been in the context of Monica Dickens and not Kenneth
Williams himself. Thanks for enlightening me.
I wonder if author Monica is a descendant of the great author himself.
Keith

[Marian]

I did reply earlier to your post Keith, but spookily it has disappeared.
Gremilns in the works again?!!

Monica Dickens was indeed the great granddaughter of Charles Dickens.

I enjoyed the jokes.
Marian

[mariana44]

Yes ,as Marian said Monica is indeed a descendant of Charles Dickens. One of my favourite authors.

Unfortunately she died some years ago, and left no children, as the 2 she had were adopted. So whether there are any other direct links to Charles Dickens, I do not know.

[Marian]

She died in Reading in 1992 apparently. Great writer.

[Gray]

"Alma Chiset" - brilliant!!!